Remember as a kid when your parents taught you to never judge a book by the cover because it was what's inside that counts? Obviously, they were talking about people (although it's still true for actual books) and we were taught at a young age to never be too judgmental. But here we are, years later, and I know that we all judge people based on what they look like or the things you've heard about them.
That's what this society is all about: based on the judgments you've made about a person, you conclude whether you can be friends with them or are better than them. That sounds so f*cked up, doesn't it? But you can't say it's not true.
Recently, I had the opportunity to be pen-pal with someone I would never have been friends with had it not been for the fact that paths and situations occurred. I grew up in a home with a great family and friends and I've always been cared for and safe. I knew when I struggled, I could turn around and have people to lean on.
I tried to be a good kid who never got in trouble and have always wanted to follow the path that gets drilled into our heads since kindergarten: high school, college, career, marriage, family. For years, that has been my mental definition of "successful".
My new friend did not have that same experience. In fact, they had quite the opposite. But if we never had the chance to be pen-pals and then eventually meet, we would have never become the close friends we are now. In fact, I probably would have judged them. That's wrong to say and I know that and I wouldn't have done it purposely, but it's true.
But becoming friends with them, I learned something. That it's truly not what's on the outside that counts. It's about who they are. (Yes, I'm Captain Obvious, I know.) They are one of the smartest and strongest people I've ever met and I'm lucky to have known them. Because of their experiences in life, it changed them and made them the person they are today.
Getting to know them is a privilege and has been me a better person in that short time. Reality slapped me in the face and reminded me of that childhood lesson from so long ago.
In a judgmental society, try to empathize and understand what someone else might be going through. Don't jump to conclusions. Try being someone's friend and find out their true character. You might be surprised at who you become close with.