How Childhood Bullying Affects Adult Relationships
Start writing a post
relationships

The Bullying From My Childhood Still Affects My Relationships

Although I've moved past my feelings about being bullied, a lot of fears and anxieties still remain.

146
caged in

When I was growing up, I didn't have many friends.

In fact, I can count them on one hand alone.

I didn't choose to live this lonely life, in fact, it's not what I wanted at all. My loneliness was forced upon me by my classmates because I was different. I didn't conform to their idea of what "normal" was and was, of course, ostracized for it. My bullies tormented me relentlessly, school became a place of terror for me. My anxiety would spike the moment I got on the bus in the morning and wouldn't relax until I got off in the afternoon. I used to beg my parents to talk to anyone who might help but, of course, adults at school really do nothing to stop bullying. My most formative years were spent alone all because I chose to stand out from the crowd.

As I got older, I was able to make more friends and leave my bullied past behind. However, some of those anxieties still linger it comes to the friends I have now.

I constantly worry that I'm bothering them or that they're simply friends with me out of pity. I am constantly worrying about what they really think about me and what they say when I'm not around. When they invite me out, I believe it's because they didn't want to feel bad about not inviting me. There's always this little voice in the back of my head saying that I'm not good enough to be friends with these people or that I'm "too weird" or "too annoying" to be taken seriously by them. After every interaction I have with my friends, I am constantly analyzing everything I said, hoping that I didn't come off as weird or annoying.

While I know that my friends love me and want me around, it's so hard to do away with the thoughts that go through my head whenever I'm around them. It's so hard to enjoy your friends when you're constantly worrying that they'll drop you at a moment's notice or completely turn on you (trust me, it's happened to me multiple times). Now, these thoughts don't always rear their ugly head into my life, but when it does flare up, it's like I almost self-destruct.

But, I don't want to make this article a total pity party. What's important is that I surround myself with good friends who truly value me and respect me. I wouldn't trade the friends I've made in school (and back home) for anything in the world. I know that they'll always have my back, and I'll have theirs.

So, yeah: the voices in my head are no match for the power of friendship.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

46976
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

29784
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

953966
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

167794
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments