“The Big Lebowski” debuted in theaters nearly two decades ago, though I wouldn’t be aware of it upon my first viewing, it would become my number one favorite film of all time. It provided an endless supply of one-liners I could bark out whenever fate would thrust me into the path of an equally passionate Big Lebowski fan. It taught me the lesson that a story doesn’t actually need a point in order to entertain an audience, however, I’ll wager that the countless “Achievers” (die-hard Lebowski fans) who attend the annual Lebowski Fests would say that the Dude just wanted his rug back.

This article isn’t about Lebowski or rugs or even failed German musicians wanting to cut off your johnson. It’s not really intended to be a substantial article of great literary import. If, by some chance, my earlier chatter encourages you to turn on “the Big Lebowski,” then great!

What this article is all about is my desire to share my recipe for homemade coffee liqueur, and an integral ingredient if you want the same beverage preferred by Achievers everywhere: White Russians. These creamy beverages make for one of the smoothest beverages around, and my homemade coffee liqueur makes for one of the best Kahlua substitutes I’ve yet tasted. So, as sure as the pope shits in the woods, I bequeath unto you, my experimented upon recipe, the culmination of several years of tinkering.

Andy’s Homemade Kahlua (Coffee Liqueur)

Ingredients

• 4 cups of water
• 1.25 cups of whitesugar
• 1.25 cups of light brown sugar
• 3 tablespoons of instant coffee
• 1 teaspoon of Pure vanilla extract (make sure it’s pure)
  • You can use an actual vanilla bean, but they’re pricy and the beverage must sit longer
• 1.25 cup of vodka
• 1.25 cup of rum
• 1 cinnamon stick
• 1 teaspoon of cocoa

Quick Tip: Aside from the vanilla extra or vanilla bean, I use cheap ingredients. Nearly every recipe I’ve found says to use pure, otherwise the flavor isn’t as stellar. Also, I use Sam’s Club vodka and rum.

Step 1 – Mix water, sugar, and instant in a large pot and bring to a boil

Step 2 – After reaching boiling point, reduce heat and allow to simmer for approximately 3 hours (this reduces mixture to a syrup concentrate)

Step 3 – Let mixture cool for a few minutes

Step 4 – Stir in vanilla, alcohol, and cocoa

Step 5 – Pour mixture into a dark, class container (glass is said to work best) and drop in cinnamon stick

Step 6 – Cap tightly and store away from sunlight in a cool, dark place

Shake bottle every couple days or once a week. You can sure as shit drink it immediately, but it improves with time. Many advise to allow 2 to 3 weeks before drinking.

Personal tips:

• a single batch makes more than a fifth
• for bottles I find myself using either a growler (double batch) or any that shuts tightly