Recently I was asked, "What has been your biggest struggle lately?”

I thought a little, and at first I thought I'd write about growing up. However, that's a story that couldn't fit into the time and space limit I have, not to mention that I don't feel like reliving that saga any time soon.

No, the wounds that I'm writing about today are the newest ones -- ones of trials, triumphs, and self-reflection.

College teaches you about yourself, about who you want to be, and about where you want life to take you.

Post-grad is a time in your life where nothing is certain. The past few months have been a period of complete uncertainty and combined with sadness and loneliness.

May and June, as well as early July, were not good months for me. I got caught up in the expectations of everyone in my life, and compared myself to other people in my life too much. I've been trying to eliminate those comparative thoughts and harmful opinions of myself and of others. I continue to strive to change my way of thinking, reminding myself to think good thoughts and not negative ones about myself and where I am in life.

People expect college students to be proactive and have a job lined up for them immediately when they're done with school -- to have a full time position in the field that they've studied for the past four (or five or six or more) years. This expectation is difficult to respond to when you've "failed" to do so.

At this point, many friends and acquaintances from grade school, high school, and college have started to get married and have kids. I'm happy for them, I really am. But that’s not what I want right now. In the words of Jimmy Buffett, I wouldn't "want that much organization in my life. I don't want people thinking for me." In my life right now, I have enough on my plate with paying bills and just staying afloat, while continuing to discover what I want in life.

Three months after graduation, I've got a full time job. Not in the field that I'm desiring for life, but it will pay the bills and it has benefits, along with a retirement fund. I've moved out of my childhood home, and am focused on paying rent and other bills to join the real world in that aspect. I continue to write for Odyssey Online because writing is one of my true passions. I will start blogging for an online publishing company very soon.

Life is happening for me. Good things are happening. Bad things have happened. But I will continue on. I will keep living. I will choose to push back when life gets tough.