Something that within the past month I was told by someone very important in my life, is that she noticed I went from “transmitting my pain and anger, to transforming it.”

Within the past three years, I have gone through a lot of hurt and heartbreak. I have had family members walk out of my life, boys break my heart, and some friendships that I thought would last a lifetime disintegrate within weeks.

I had a lot of built up anger and pain. I felt as though I was permanently hurt.
I would get worked up over silly things and I would try to cut myself off from the people who truly care about me.

Then, one day, I was at TJ Maxx and I bought myself a journal. This little, simple thing, changed my life.

Every day I write in this journal. At the beginning of this journey, each day I began to feel a little better.

I was writing down my problems, anger, and pain, and then letting go of it.

I got it out of my system, it was in my journal and out of my life.

I started letting go of all this pain and hatred. I started feeling more like myself then I had in years. I was becoming happier as the days went on.

Then I went to see my friend, someone who knows more about me than anyone. Someone who has helped me through the past three years. She noticed the change. I was feeling good.

She explained to me the difference between transmitting your pain versus transforming it.

For the longest time I was transmitting my pain and anger, I was pushing it onto other things and making my life a MESS. When I started journaling, I started transforming.

I was doing great in school. I was working and seeking other job opportunities for myself every day. I surrounded myself with good wholesome people. I was transforming my pain and anger into a better life for myself.

I was taking all the heartache and turning it into dreams for my future and plans for a new and improved me.

After about two weeks of journaling, I started signing each page with, “Love, the new me.”

It was and still is such an amazing feeling to be in such a good place.
I am thankful for all the pain and heartbreak that invaded my life for so long because without it, I would have nothing to help transform me into a new and improved person.