You can’t deny it.

Every time we open up Instagram andevery time we scroll through our Twitter feeds, we are flooded with posts about the latest detox diet, the best new diet program that wants YOU to be their next product model for their all-natural, energy-boosting cleanse, or the latest high-intensity workout that will without a doubt get rid of those love handles.

These days, we don’t just live in a culture that is obsessed with looks anymore; we live in one that is obsessed with being fit, with being “healthy.” This is great in theory -- of course we should value being health-conscious, realizing the importance of working and fueling our bodies well. The reality of the matter, though, is that our society’s definition of health is EXTREMELY slim (OK, that pun was admittedly totally intended...).

While this can especially mess with the psyche of those of us in eating disorder recovery, it obviously impacts society as a whole, too, influencing and morphing their body image, shaping their ideas of what being “healthy and happy” entails.

Recently, I read an article by the co-founder of Project HEAL, Kristina Saffran, in which she talks about this narrow definition of health and how redefining what it means to her has been a vital aspect of her recovery, of her happiness.

In her article, Saffran talks about how we should listen to our bodies, giving them the respect and care they need, how we should appreciate all that our bodies can do for us, not just what they look like, and how we should be strong both mentally and physically, making sure that we practice training our minds just as much as we train our bodies.

These are all important to remember, to repeat to ourselves over and over and consistently put into practice so that we can truly begin to reshape our definitions of health and happiness.

However, there is one aspect of health that she pointed out that is the most vital of all, but that is so often not prioritized: meaningful relationships with others.

To have a real relationship with someone, you have to be willing to put them first at times, to place their needs -- or even just wants -- before your own.

OK, sure. We all know that relationships sometimes require sacrifice; that’s pretty much a given.

What people don’t really understand, though, is just what this means for someone in recovery.

This means that we, who are notorious for having to deal with ridiculous amounts of anxiety with any sort of change (especially any sort of change to our eating or exercising routines), have to learn to handle uncertainty, have to learn to be spontaneous every once in a while.

Our natural bent is to believe that the healthiest thing would be to stick to our exercise schedule and to eat only according what we deem as “good” foods because for some of those who are fighting to recover, throwing a crick into their routine and missing a day of working out or eating a “bad” food can be extremely stressful or overwhelming.

This means that more often than not, we will opt to go to the gym at our scheduled time rather than go on the spontaneous Sonic run with a friend; we will say no to going out for ice cream after a meeting because it doesn’t fit within the parameters of what we, and society, have decided is “healthy.”

I often sacrifice the one thing that can bring true happiness, true fulfillment, for this narrow, surface-level definition of healthy that we hold as true.

Or I used to, at least.

When I first chose recovery, I was in pure survival mode, vigilantly sticking to a meal plan and exercise routine because it was necessary simply to ensure that I didn’t slip back into unhealthy patterns.

Now, six years into my recovery, I have transitioned to a place of genuinely living, of being able to choose to go on a spur-of-the-moment dinner date (and actually be excited about it!), to be unswayed by missing a day of working out to spend quality time vegging with my friends.

I’ve realized that yes, exercising and eating a balanced diet is important, but no, it’s not the end-all-be-all of being "healthy."

Because, if we’re honest with ourselves, completely and truly honest, what would it matter if we were perfect in our daily discipline of going to the gym or of eating clean if that was what took ultimate precedence in our lives? What would it matter if we had the “healthiest” bodies, if we don’t have relationship?

How can we truly expect to be fulfilled if we focus all of our time and energy on this one aspect of health, ignoring the piece ultimately necessary for genuine happiness?

Without making room for connection, without prioritizing time spent with people, our efforts are fruitless, our healthy bodies serving no purpose other than prolonging a life spent without meaningful relationship, a life lived on the surface level of happiness.

So for me, I refuse to accept social media’s version of health. I refuse to live half a life, a life in which my body may be technically healthy but my heart and mind are undernourished.

No; for me, health and happiness have taken on a whole new definition -- one where my body is loved and well taken care of, but where I am able to be flexible in my routines.

Where I say to my ED that I’m going to eat these cookies at my best friend’s while we watch a sappy movie, and it won’t phase me.

Where I can listen to my body and give it a day of rest, despite what Instagram tells me about making sure I get in that high-intensity workout everyday.

A definition where I feel complete, where I feel whole, because I'm living a life full of connection and relationship.

I want to live by this new definition of health, because this version of health means I prioritize living a life full of love -- loving my whole self: mind, soul, and body.

What better definition of health is there than that?