12 months is a lot of time, but it is a lot of time that goes by very quickly. It is amazing to look back and reflect upon how much can happen, change, and evolve over the course of the 12 months that feel like a blink of an eye.

A year ago, I had just come back home for the summer after my first year of college. I remember getting back into my own bed that first night back so happy I was home but immediately thinking about how many weeks there were before I had to go back to school. I started counting those weeks not because I was itching to get back but because I was nervous and anxious about going back.

The first year had been one of transition, it had gotten better as the nine months of the school year went on but nothing felt as comfortable as being back home and I did not want to have to go back and leave that comfort. However, after counting down those 14 weeks of summer the time came and in a very tearful goodbye, I left home to return to my second year of college.

And now I can say, what a difference nine months makes.

Coming back as a sophomore, I knew more about what I was doing on campus. I wasn’t lost physically, I wasn’t lost socially, I wasn’t lost academically, however, I wasn’t “found” in any of these areas either. I was familiar. I knew how to get around, I had friends on campus, and academically I knew what to expect. In my first year, I had laid my initial roots on campus and then in my second year, I could let those roots grow and anchor me even more.

The amount I have seen myself grow and evolve from the end of my first year to the end of my second year is amazing and I am impressed at how tangible it is even to myself. I think often we can be blind to our own self-growth until someone else points out the changes they observe. So, for me to be able to recognize growth in myself without anyone pointing it out makes me proud of just how far I have come.

In the last month of my freshman year, I closed myself down socially. It was me, myself and I finishing up academically, putting all the finishing touches on projects and preparing for finals. I wanted to spend more time with academics than I wanted to spend with my friends, which at that time was fine.

In the Spring Semester of my freshman year I overloaded myself, taking 16 academic credits, having a 14-hour a week internship off campus, volunteering weekly, holding a leadership position in my sorority, and giving campus tours, it was a lot. In the second half of the semester I realized I had reached my limit and in turn, chose to shift my focus to myself. I think a lot of the anxiety I felt about returning for my sophomore year was out of fear of overloading myself once again.

Comparatively, the way I spent the last month of my sophomore year, had a much better balance. I enjoyed spending time with my friends as we wrapped up the school year by getting brunch, dinner, and ice cream together. In between socializing, I spent time working on academic projects I needed to, but I didn’t feel closed off. I was enjoying the people, the projects, and the activities I had going on.

In my sophomore year, I let go of relationships but created a lot more. I still kept all of my activities but did so in a better way. I still worked, but only 10 hours a week and it was on campus, I didn’t give tours as regularly but I was still involved, I had a different leadership position in my sorority that asked different things of me, and I was still taking a full course load of classes.

I had reached my limit the year before and it takes reaching your limit to know your limit, so through that experience I better knew how not to exceed the limit again.

This time, I left campus with moist eyes because it was bittersweet leaving. It had been a great year and now I had to leave behind people who I wasn’t going to see for 14 weeks. Now, I am home for the summer but looking forward to what I have to go back to at school. This summer I’ll be counting down the weeks I have at home but also counting down because I am excited to go back to school. This countdown will be more bittersweet than anxious now.

It will be bittersweet because a lot can change in a year. This summer may be my last summer at home so I should savor it. But I also can’t wait to be back with my friends and the routine of school. I don’t know where the next year will take me, but I am excited to see where I am next year at this time and all the things that have evolved in only a matter of months.