Nothing Can Change If We Don't Talk About It

Nothing Can Change If We Don't Talk About It

I believe the more we talk, and don’t stop talking, we all can change the stigma surrounding mental health.

I’ve received so many messages from people after posting my last article (if you haven’t read it you can check it out here), thanking me for being able to say what they haven’t been able to; for making them realize they aren’t alone and for putting words to the feelings so many of us struggle with. But after reading all of the messages it made me realize something important, something many of us forget: nothing can change if we don't talk about it.

Struggling with mental health is hard in and of itself, but it’s even harder when you struggle alone. You feel trapped, like no one could ever possibly understand what you’re going through. And for those that don’t suffer from mental illnesses, maybe they won’t ever completely understand the way we feel and that we don’t have a say in how we feel. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try and explain it to the best of our abilities, no matter how hard it is.

Mental health is one of those things that is not discussed enough. Many feel ashamed to admit they struggle with their own mind and can’t seem to take control; they don’t want others to look down on them or see them as impaired. I didn’t talk about my mental health issues for years, for the exact same reasons. I didn’t want others to pity me, I didn’t want them to think I was fragile and broken. I didn’t want anyone to think of me differently.

But I’ve come to realize those that are really there for you won’t think of you differently. They won’t care that you struggle, but will instead try to offer their support to the best of their abilities. Those that make you feel bad for expressing your thoughts and feelings or just tell you it’s “all in your head” and to “get over it” are the people you shouldn’t have in your life. One of the best things you can do when you’re struggling with your mental health is to surround yourself with people who will listen and be there for you, not try and make you feel inferior for you feelings.

But in order to surround ourselves with those people we need to talk. We need to be open about how we feel, we need to not feel ashamed of the way our mind works. In order to get the help, support, and love we need, we need to talk and not stop talking. We need to be honest with ourselves and others, we need to do our best to help others who don’t understand try to understand how we feel. In order for things to change, we need to talk.

I’m sick of the negative stigma that surrounds mental health. I’m sick of myself and millions others feeling ashamed to admit that we do need help and that sometimes we aren’t okay. I’m sick of people who don’t understand making people who struggle with mental illness feel inferior for the way their brain works. It isn’t something we can control, trust me we all wish we could make it go away. Mental illnesses are not a choice.

I truly believe that the more we talk about it, not matter how uncomfortable it might be, the more we can get others to understand. I believe that the more we talk about it, the more support and help we can receive. I believe the more we talk, and don’t stop talking, we all can change the stigma surrounding mental health. I’m optimistic for the future, and I look forward to the day where mental health can be talked about openly and be understood instead of judged.

For those struggling, please, talk. For those who aren't struggling, please, listen. We can all change the stigma and bring about change, together.

Cover Image Credit: EndLoneliness

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.

Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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My Love-Hate Relationship with Starbucks

This is my oh so wonderful experience at Starbucks during the week of midterms.


When I usually go to Starbucks, I typically get the same type of drinks: carmel macchiato, chai tea latte, chestnut praline chai tea latte (which sadly is only a holiday drink), or a shaken black tea lemonade with light ice. However, sometimes a person just gets bored drinking the same three drinks over and over, so I thought, "Hey! lets get out of our comfort zone here pal and try something new." So I did I walked my tired stressed out self to Starbucks 10 minutes before my next class and ordered a tall cinnamon shortbread latte, I mean the description and other peoples comments about it made it sound super good.

As I was waiting for my drink I noticed that one of the baristas was having some issues with some type of syrup, but I thought that they would refill it and then add what they need, and that one probably wasn't even mine. When they did that, I saw them get a new jug of syrup and I went back onto my phone and to try and plan how I was going to get through this midterms week.

Quick info about midterms: everyone is dead, and everyone is stressed. Us college students literally live off of caffeine during midterms week. If you're lucky like me you are at school from 8 a.m. until 6 p.m., so the caffeine is really needed.

Now soon after I saw the new jug come, my name was called. I grabbed my drink and walked like the walking zombie I was to my next class. I went in for my first drink I was so excited to have this sweet taste of vanilla, cinnamon and coffee...but what I got was the opposite. It literally tasted like a very burnt somewhat coffee and cinnamon edible without the marijuana affects, or for the non-edible people, a very bad tasting cookie that was missing all the sugar. I was not a happy camper one bit, but I was going to drink it anyway because I payed $4 for this coffee. I struggled drinking this during my writing class because it tasted terrible, but then out of no where I got this hit of sweet — I was drinking the sweet vanilla and the sweet cinnamon part of my drink minus the majority of the coffee since I was 3/4 done with the drink. I was seriously crying on the inside because I didn't get to enjoy this drink the way I needed.

Then the realization hit me: 1. They probably didn't add in the missing parts of the syrup once it got refilled since they suddenly got busy. 2. They did not stir that drink one bit because all the syrup was literally at the bottom of the cup. If they did these, then the problem wouldn't have happened.

This is not the first time this has happened to me having all the syrup at the bottom of the cup at a Starbucks. Its not like I am able to swish it around myself because it is full to the top and I don't want hot coffee poured or splashed on my hand. Also, most people are on-the-go while they are drinking their coffee or doing other things. I have only had this issue at Starbucks and never at any other place have I had this issue like Anthem Coffee.

So can Starbucks just agree to always mix their drinks? So that the zombie college kids during midterms have good coffee to keep them alive?

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