when change comes

Change is supposed to be a good thing. It's supposed to show measures of achievement, and document where you have come from and where you are going. But change is also a hard concept to grasp. Some people, like myself, aren't a big fan of change. They would rather have everything stay just as it is because it is what we are comfortable with, what we know.

However, the world doesn't work like that, and change is a HUGE part of everyday life. And sometimes you have to roll with the punches in order to keep your head above the water.

I have had a lot of change in my life in 2018, enough change that it has caused me to feel a little off balanced at times, but despite the way I feel change is good.

To start off 2018, my parents decided to separate and get a divorce. This itself was enough to rattle myself and my sisters. I won't go into detail about how this chain of events because it was family business and somethings are better left unsaid. However, it was a big change we all had to adjust to. My parents had been together for 21 years and we had never experienced life without the two of them.

Maybe I am getting a little ahead of myself. My uncle died two days after Christmas and we buried in him January. Then my parents decided to divorce, however they had decided to do this before my uncle's passing, it just happened to be bad timing all the way around. My uncle died in a freak accidental fire in his home. It was contained and only damaged a very small part of his bedroom. But this was a massive slap in the face to me because I had just seen him two days before. I had a whole conversation with him, gave him Christmas presents and hugged him and laughed with him and told him about how college was going. And then, in the blink of an eye, he was gone. It was crazy, and my dad and grandmother and my other uncle were devastated.

So we had my uncle's funeral and my parents' divorce. And I made the decision to transfer from Marshall University, where I had been for two years, back home to Ohio University Southern. This was a spur-of-the-moment decision and I jumped in without even thinking about how my classes would transfer or about the friends and life I was leaving behind. I wasn't really leaving anything behind because all those friends and I would still talk and study and do stuff together. Just more changes to add to the list of things for 2018.

After I enrolled at OUS, my sister graduated from high school that May and decided she would be attending OU as well. She made the choice because she had not declared a major and would be getting her prerequisites done for a massive discount compared to going to Marshall or Ohio State as undecided. So with her graduation came the graduation party itself, but before then there was numerous awards assemblies for not just her, but my other sisters as well.

May ended and my grandmother ended up in the hospital having surgery on her leg to remove a HUGE bruise that had filled with blood and started to eat away her tissue. She is still recovering from it today, but she is home now. She spent two or three weeks in the hospital and then she spent two weeks in a rehabilitation center before she came home with an in-house treatment plan.

Unfortunately, this is when the worst part of 2018 happened. My dad died. My own father, gone. It was a freak accident just like his brother's death was. He fell and the rest is history. It was the worst experience of my life. I never really believed in the steps of grieving until until now. But man, oh man are they real. And it takes a really long time to fully be okay. Honestly I'm still not myself just yet, but I'm getting there.

2018 is nowhere near over— we still have four months left to go. But it sure has put me and my family through the ringer. And this was only a small summary of what 2018 has brought our way so far. If I have learned anything this year, it is that nothing is permanent and everything changes and we need to be more susceptible to change.

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