I know, probably more than anyone, it is easy to judge others. It is so easy to look at some, make a snap judgement about them, and therefore devise an opinion about them as a person. And let's be honest, we all do it. We may try and fight it, but it just seems to naturally happen. I fall victim to judging almost everyone I see, but I am working on it.
The one thing that I have worked on most is not judging other people's life choices, and I try and urge others to do the same. College has put me in contact with so many people who are terribly different than I am. I have friends who make different choices than I do, and I try my best to not pass judgement upon them. It is their life; therefore, it is their decision.
Anytime an incoming college freshman asks me what to do when they encounter pressures in college, I simply advise them to politely decline and not judge. People will rarely judge you for sticking to your choices and not drinking at a party, but it will cause problems if you start judging them because they do. It is that simple. Don't judge and you won't be judged back.
So many times I hear people say something along the lines of, "well she drinks all the time, so I don't think I could be her friend." No. That is her decision, and it does not affect you at all. What that girl does with her private time is absolutely none of your business. I have no place to judge her, so neither do you. You may not agree with how she lives her life, but it is her own. It is these kind of remarks that start toxic thoughts.
I have personally struggled with the difference between judgement and difference in beliefs. It is important that I am surrounded by those who are different than I am. How am I supposed to grow as a person if I am never being challenged by other's ideas and opinions? I will never grow. I will stay stagnant, so I need to open my mind to others who are different than I am.
The most common assumption people make is that a person's behavior and choices mirror their character. This is terribly incorrect. I may not always agree with someone's choice to smoke cigarettes due to health risks and the horrible smell, but that does not make them a bad person. Sure, I do not agree with their choice to smoke cigarettes, but they may be a wonderful, giving person. A snap judgement I might make could possibly damage my chances of making a friend.
I am not saying that I do not catch myself judging another girl for what she may be wearing because I do. It is almost impossible to live a completely judgement free life, but it is actually quite easy to try. If you learn to start looking at a person as a whole and not as their actions, it isn't hard to turn a new leaf.
