It's been 10 years now and Mother's Day still isn't any less weird without Mom here to celebrate with. Honestly, it kind of seems like another ordinary day without her here. But in my head and my heart, I feel that emptiness. I scroll through my social media feeds and see post after post of people shouting out to their moms, saying how much they love and appreciate them. It stings a little, knowing that I only have my fading memories and a vague idea of the person my mother was. I didn't get that chance to have deep conversations with my mom and turn to her for advice when I needed it. I don't get to spend Mother's Day doting on her and doing things for her.

Every year, my aunts send sweet messages saying they're thinking of my sister and me. It's very kind and thoughtful, but I guess it's just never seemed like a huge deal to me. Friday at work, my boss asked me if I'd decided to go home this weekend. I told her that I was and asked why. She told me she'd made a note to call me today to check on me if I was going to be alone. Even though I’ve never really dreaded Mother’s Day, that was so very sweet; it made my day. Knowing people care and give a darn about you means more than most people understand.

Yes, it’s really sad I don’t get to make memories with my mom on the one day dedicated to mothers. Yes, it reminds me of a lot of bad memories. Yes, I remember her smile and that infectious happiness she seemed to have. Yes, it makes me wish she were still here so I could spend time with her and get to know her. Of course, I wonder what life would be like if she were still here. Those are all things I think about on a daily basis, Mother’s Day just puts all those thoughts more at the front of my mind.

My sister and I are a few of the lucky ones that have an amazing support network of aunts, uncles, and cousins, not to mention the wonderful step mother we added to the family several years ago. Their presence in our lives has made all the difference in how we grew up and the people we became; I truly believe we’d be lost without them. One of the things I love about Mother’s Day is getting to sit down and visit with all of them, or at least the ones that can make it. Those are moments I treasure because we don’t always get that chance with everybody being busy all the time.

Today at lunch, I got to visit with my Aunt Gail, who took care of my sister and me countless times as kids. She’s one of the sweetest, strongest women I’ve ever known. We got to talking about something when she said that having a close-knit family is much better than having everyone be ready to bite the other’s head off. It’s so true and I believe being raised in a family like that helped Mary Jo and me as we grew up. We learned how to treat people right and to be the better person no matter how much you might not want to be.

Mother’s Day also makes me feel really thankful for the wonderful step mother we have. She was brave and patient in stepping into our lives during those teenage years when girls can be vicious. I know we weren’t the easiest people to be around all the time, but having her in our lives and in helping Dad be happy again made all the difference in the world. When I still lived at home, I would sit in their room with her at night and talk to her or watch TV with her. There’s not a day that goes by where I’m not thankful for having her in my life. I only hope she knows how glad we all are that she took a chance on us and let us welcome her into our crazy family.

Having this second chance, of sorts, is something I’ll always be glad I got. You learn how to open your heart and your home to people you haven’t known even though you don't exactly trust right from the get-go. You learn how to compromise and accommodate different things you may not have considered before. Letting people you don’t know well into your life can be really scary, it was something I wasn’t the biggest fan of for a while, partially because I dislike change and I liked the trio my dad, my sister, and I made up. But adding our step-mom and step-brother to the mix has made life so much more interesting and fun. I couldn’t tell you how many times my belly has ached from laughing when I’m around them. Learning how to let people into your life and open your mind and heart to them is something I believe is handy in many situations.

I say all that to say that Mother’s Day without my mother does suck a bit. But my step-mother and aunts give my sister and I a reason to celebrate and be thankful, not just on this day but every day; each one of them has helped us grow into the young women we are today. I know we’re not quite done learning from them yet, either. Even though I know we both wish we could be with our mom today, we have the next best thing, a wonderful, supportive family that has taught us so many valuable lessons. Being able to sit down and visit with my aunts and my family in general means the world to me.