Your Sexual Comment About My Body Really Isn't A Compliment, I Would Appreciate If You Stopped

Your Sexual Comment About My Body Really Isn't A Compliment, I Would Appreciate If You Stopped

I am human and I demand respect over my body.

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I was 12 the first time a boy said: "you got a nice ass." I was taken back. What did you just say to me? Back then I wasn't as strong in knowing who I was/am. That comment stuck with me for a while. I recently thought about it. I realize now what that comment really was. While a boy thought it was a compliment, it wasn't. It was the start of harassment that boys are never told is wrong. Therefore, they continue to do it.

When I think about that comment from junior high, I think about the junior high students I know. I think about how upset I would be if one of the boys said that. I think about how much I would want to hug and remind the girl of who she really is. You see, these "compliments" start at a young age. Girls figure it means the boy likes her. They assume that he'll be different when they're dating. I beg to differ. It will get so much worse.

Some boys and men only see women as objects. They only see her as a thing of pleasure. They don't see the beauty that is in her personality. They don't stop to think about how intelligent she is. They skip over the fact of her being a human. It truly breaks my heart.

I keep going back to the first time a boy touched my butt, and how violated I felt. I told my teacher, and they did nothing about it. They said, "Oh, well he's a boy!!" WHAT. No, I am human and I demand respect over my body. When that boy touched my body when I never asked him to, I wanted to hide. I was not "turned on" by it like he thought I would be. I was not OK with it. And all I got was a form of "it's what boys do."

Your compliment about my body isn't a compliment. I am uncomfortable with it. I don't want to hear about how much you love my butt. Your compliment about my body has led me to be nervous around guys who have any sort of interest in me because I think they are only interested in what you once told me.

I am here to stand up for myself, finally, and other girls and women who are scared. I was once scared, but not anymore. I don't want to hear or read your pick up lines you think will flatter me. I want you to respect who I am. I want you to know I am not flattered by those gross comments about my body. I am here to stand up for those who are scared to be loud. That was once me, but not anymore.

Your compliments are not compliments. I am ready to see a change in our world. I am ready for your gross comments to stop. I am sick of seeing and hearing the same thing over and over again. I am more than a body. I am a human. I have a personality that I would love for you to get to know, but your pick-up lines are insulting. I would appreciate if you stopped.

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62 Things Only Fat-Campers Understand

Please don't call it "weight-loss camp."
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1. Knowing how to strategically maximize your allotted Splenda packets for the day.

2. Standing up and pretending like you've been exercising during an activity the whole time when your counselor checks on you.

3. Trying to explain to your home friends what fat camp is, but giving up because they just don't get it.

4. Knowing to choose "free swim" for choice activity instead of aerobics.

5. Forever remembering the day you won camper of the week as the best day of your life.

6. Hanging out with the opposite sex after working out all day and not even caring that you're sweaty and have major B.O.

7. Feeling like the skinny one at camp when you're usually the fat one of your friend group at home.

8. Losing the most amount of weight in a week during color war.

9. Having uncontrollable anxiety that you gained weight before weighing in each week.

10. Knowing all of the color war generals and advisors of the past five summers and their themes, who won and the song and cheers by heart.

11. Inexplicably losing three pounds in a week even though you skipped aerobics practically every day and ate double snacks.

12. Living and breathing yellow or blue for four days during color war.

13. Using nutrition class time as nap time.

14. Singing the words to your division's winning cheer every time the song plays on the speaker.

15. Feeling nostalgic every time you hear a song that you danced to during Zumba.

16. Proudly showing everyone your picture on the weight room hall of fame.

17. Staying with your friends during the 5K even though you can run faster because you care more about helping them accomplish a race than beating your personal time.

18. Singing the “accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, and don't mess with mister in-between" song at any age, proudly.

19. Using rest hour to flirt with your crush and being yelled at by your counselors to stay five feet apart.

20. Totally disregarding the five-feet rule.

21. Staying up late to wait for your counselors to come back from their night off and pretending to be asleep so you can hear all the gossip.

22. Saving your snacks from the week to eat them all on Lazy Sunday.

23. Your summer was set if you found out you had cooking class right before lunch.

24. Guessing what dessert is while eating breakfast.

25. Hiding Splenda packets and salad dressing under the table.

26. Discovering that butter, Splenda and syrup in instant oatmeal is actually delicious.

27. Eating your cereal with yogurt instead of milk because you're only allowed one dairy product for breakfast.

28. Hiding in the weight room from your counselors so you don't have to participate.

29. Snack time is dangerous. You have to be on the defense or you might break an arm from someone pushing you to get the last lemonade flavored icy.

30. Skipping aerobics on Lazy Sunday even though it's mandatory.

31. Lying to your counselor that you can't do water aerobics because you are “on your period" but then having to walk laps, anyway.

32. Going to the other side of the field house to steal a second, third or fourth snack.

33. Complaining of a sore throat to get candy (cough drop) from the nurse.

34. Complaining of an upset stomach to get out of playing tennis.

35. Complaining of a headache to get out of playing kickball.

36. Complaining of literally anything to get out of doing anything physical activity-related.

37. Laying in your bed after an intense fitness session and not even caring that your sheets are dirty.

38. Becoming best friends with people you never thought you would have talked to outside of camp.

39. Finally being able to fit into your "skinny shorts" two weeks into camp and giving away all your bottoms that don't fit you anymore.

40. Regretting giving away your fat clothes when you, inevitably, gain weight over the year.

41. Crying when you only lose one pound when you thought you worked really hard that week, then being comforted by all your friends and counselors and being reminded that the number on the scale doesn't matter.

42. Looking forward to seeing your parent's priceless reaction to your weight loss on visiting day.

43. Getting crafty where you hide your food that you sneak into camp.

44. Releasing a sigh of relief when the head of camp checks your bags and doesn't find the gum or sour patch kids hidden in your shoes.

45. Yelling at everyone to be quiet so you can hear whether they announced your name when packages are being called.

46. Keeping up with your healthy lifestyle for the first few months of school, but then going back into hibernation until the summer comes.

47. Every conversation with your camp friends during the year starts with, “I'm so fat."

48. Skipping an activity to sleep in the bunk but being too anxious that you'll get caught to enjoy your free time.

49. Sleeping in single beds because it's dangerous to have bunk beds at fat camp.

50. Slowly accepting and loving the fact that you go to fat camp and not being afraid to tell people that.

51. Looking forward to every summer because you miss your summer family, but especially because you want to lose all the weight you gained back over the year.

52. Learning that you are not the only one who's eaten food out of a garbage before or snuck snacks while your parents weren't looking.

53. Fat-campers are hornier than the average camper.

54. Watching "Heavyweights" so many times that you can recite the whole movie by heart.

55. Learning to value people for their personality, not their looks, and wearing your “fat camp goggles" even after the summer ends.

56. Learning where the best make-out spots are from trial and error.

57. Hiding your fat camp bracelet on field trips so that employees don't stop you from buying food.

58. Getting used to people paying more attention to you after losing a lot of weight.

59. Playing this version of Bingo during nutrition.

60. Finally feeling like you fit in and wishing you lived two months for 10, instead of 10 months for two.

61. Knowing that there aren't any strangers at camp, only friends you haven't met yet.

62. Leaving camp in the best mental and physical shape of your life.

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The Complicated Love-Hate Relationship I Have With My Body

We all have times where we look in the mirror and either love or hate what we see.

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People are always saying how you should love yourself just the way you are. You should embrace yourself and feel beautiful in your own skin. There are times that I do. Times where I step up and say this is me, this is who I am. However, there are also times where I look at myself and say, this is not me, this is not who I want to be.

I've always had a love-hate relationship with my body. I go days where I feel good about myself and love who I am no matter what. Then I go days where I hate everything I see and want to hide away from everyone. I just can't seem to find a middle ground.

Sure you can make plans to change yourself, but even then, I feel like you'll always see a flaw. My body has changed from time to time, but no matter what, I always find something to hate. I just can't seem to find the confidence in myself to accept who I am. I wish that I could.

I wish I was someone who could love who they are.

I try my hardest to respect my body. I've told myself that I'll work hard to keep it healthy. I made a promise that once my current spine injury has healed that I'll work harder to get where I want to be. To work hard towards loving myself more often than hating myself.

It's a dangerous mindset to have, the hate sometimes consuming you. I also struggle with bipolar disorder, so when I'm in a depressive phase and hating my body things get dark. I feel disgusting and I just wish I could tear pieces of my body away.

You turn away from mirrors, you try to wear clothes that hide the things you don't like, sometimes when you catch an angle of yourself that's particularly bad you just stand there staring, hating it all.

Then you walk with your shoulders back and your head held high. You wear clothes that make you feel cute and you don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You love yourself and decide to be happy.

This constant yo-yo of a relationship is exhausting.

The hardest for me is looking at pictures growing up. Looking back on the way my body changed and trying to pinpoint where things went wrong. Seeing a picture and thinking, 'look how good I look there.' It doesn't even matter if it's a happy memory. If my picture captured a really good moment. All I can focus on is what I look like.

My fear is that these thoughts will never change. I can learn new tricks to help me stay positive. Learn new ways to love myself. Even if I change things, that there truly will always be something I don't like. It hurts to look at yourself in a mirror and only see something gross staring back at you.

To not see yourself, to only see everything you don't like. It makes you want to crawl into your skin. You don't want anyone to see you in fear that they might see the same thing.

When the confidence comes I savor everything moment I have of it. I take pictures, I like to go out, I live my life as a happy me. I try to hold on to that love I have. To remind myself that I am OK. That I can love myself, but that it's also OK to not like some things. I don't have to find every piece of me perfect because no one is perfect. We all have flaws, it's just about learning to accept those flaws as a piece of who we are.

I know that this love-hate relationship will always be there, but I will always be there to try and fight it. I will work hard towards finding that confidence inside myself and let it shine. We all deserve to see the beauty we have, that no matter how bad seems, there are parts of us that are beautiful.

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