My screen lights up. Again. Another day, another name. “Do you have a boyfriend” my grandma asks. “Eh, it’s casual…” Confusion in her eyes. Acceptance in mine. My screen lights up. Again. Another day. Another name. If you are in your late teens or early twenties, most likely, you have experienced this before. Is casual dating healthy, or is it going to be causing casualties down the road?
Casual dating is great when you are trying to move on, figure yourself out for some time or wanting some freedom. It is basically being with someone with virtually no strings attached. I think it is good to experience it at least once in your life, but if it drags on for a long time it can be quite harmful.
There seems to be much ambiguity that comes with being casual. You aren’t together, nor are you dating; you could be considered a thing and you are more than just talking. There is a sense of freedom that comes with this no strings policy, but what happens after say eight months of this? Technically, you’re still alone. It is all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
I think this generation tries to protect themselves as much as they can, but this may be destroying the grounds for future relationships. We are not honest enough with ourselves and with our partners to actually discuss what we want because we think we don’t deserve it. We think that we can’t settle down because there is always going to be another option. So, we wait and let people pass in and out of our lives. We don’t want to be the one hurting in the end, so we play the game of caring less. We don’t ever want to be the one to care too much so we don’t care at all.
What ever happened to dating and getting to know someone in a fun, stress-free environment? Instead we direct message a lame pickup, hope for a response and if we don’t get the response we intended to get- we simply delete and try again. This approach has led people to become casual about the people in their lives because they might swipe right and meet someone that is a better fit for what they are looking for.
You are going to have moments where you don’t understand why you weren’t enough. You are going to ask yourself what you could have done differently. You are going to be confused and heartbroken when this casual thing drifts away. This will be the moments that you realize that you cared and maybe should have cared more.
I'd rather not stress about texting first, or double texting or waiting 23 minutes to respond to a text message not to seem “ too eager." Personally, I think we should want to love and let others in. It is worth feeling something, even if it is for a short period of time. We walk around so guarded and confused, like being vulnerable is a weakness even though it's humane.
Yes, we might get hurt -- but at least you would know you did what you wanted to do. I rather follow my heart and get heartbroken than just be hanging out. We shouldn’t focus our time on what we hope others should and can be. Let's love and treasure people in our life for who they already are.