Not All Heroes Wear Capes
Politics and Activism

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

Analyzing the true power of the cargo short.


...They wear Cargo Shorts. You read that correct... cargo shorts. I have recently been coming across numerous articles from The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, and Business Insider condemning the use of cargo shorts and I'll admit all their arguments are sound, valid, and I completely agree with the fact that cargo shorts are the male equivalent of denim high wasted shorts...neither of them were made with any aesthetic purpose in mind.

Early Friday morning I read an article published by Bloomberg in which Kim Bhasin informs the reader of the 11 percent spike in cargo shorts since 2015. My initial thought was "Oh my God... why?" & "Did I miss the announcement that there was there a Jurassic Park opening up and ordering cargo shorts as their required staff uniform what the heck is going here?!"

And then it struck me... this is the beginning of a male movement. After all these years did we really believe that these men were wearing these hideous articles of clothing for "convenience"? In a society where men are deemed lesser or weak for expressing emotion or feeling...these pioneers have found a way to protest and refuse to buy into what the fashion and health industry are doing to the male body image.

Before we talk about the current trends affecting the male image let us, for the sake of a balanced argument, first examine a small issue of the feminist movement. who are so quick pull the trigger of the gun named Blame on males, whom they see as the creators of the majority of their issues, as well as the women who participate in the misogynistic fantasy.

The feminist movement has done a great job informing society of the unreasonable and fake expectations these industries are placing on our sisters,daughters,wives, and friends. According to Beck Barnicoat in her recent Buzzfeed article "people" (We know you mean men Beck) see women as silky smooth hairless, technologically impaired, whiny, humorless, materialistic, weak humans who eat any phallic type food in a sensual manner, like to cook in sexy underwear and who's only goal in life is to bear children and in reality they are exactly the opposite. Furthermore, if she is not a size zero with double "D's" she has no business showing her face on Instagram let alone expect to ever be happy or confident with herself.

Now let us examine the perceived expectations women have of men via the mainstream. No one explains this better in my mind than comedian Bo Burnham during his song "If You Want Love" in his Netflix special "Make Me Happy" he sings,

"You want a guy that's sweet A guy that's tough
A feminist who likes to pay for stuff
The kinda guy that gets along with your friends
Without being attracted to any of them
A good boy, a bad boy, a good bad boy
A half good half bad half boy
Loves your brother sensitive but not weak and
Is a great lover calls your mother on the weekend
Then you might think that this guy only exists in your mind
Well guess what
You're righ

He left out successful.

So now we know how we are supposed to act — kind of — but how are we supposed to look?

Google "cover of men's health" and this is what you will see something like this:

A six pack, good pecks, defined arms, a great jawline, a nice bum, and lets not forget that we need to be packing some heat in between the legs. You think cosmetics are expensive... try budgeting for a tub of protein powder and the amount of calories it takes to maintain a body like that. The real bad news for the ladies is that this is how the average man looks like in the U.S.:

We know how society wants us to act and how we should look but how should we dress?

Let's let BuzzFeed writer, Spencer Althouse, tell us how by examining his article "16 ways to dress like a grown man". First of all, don't buy a suit or dress shirt that's too large, it has to be fitted and conform to your body and made 100% of a fabric. Don't forget that awesome patterned tie, cuff links, designer sunglasses, lace up dress shoes, stylish socks, and a Mad Men style haircut to match. Too hot? show some knee and wear some stylish shorts.

Great news though is that an outfit like that will only cost you about $600+ but that's chump change for your emotionally intelligent, successful, stylish, ripped, prince charming.

Now, by no means am I trying to underplay the misogynistic prevalence in today's society. It is real and it is still a problem in the U.S. I myself by no means agree with any of it. I had the fortunate experience of being raised in a large family of predominately women. My grandmother was an influential social activist during her prime and continues to amaze with her intelligence and fortitude. My mom went to school law school and then decided to raise a family instead and there is no amount of adjectives that can properly describe the intelligence, talent, and kindness that little woman has. To add to the cake my sisters are two of some of the most outspoken "feminists" to grace this earth and have never succumbed to the mainstream idea of what society tells them they are supposed to be. I have yet to meet any man or woman who can carry a conversation of any topic so intelligent and eloquently. So yes, my expectation for a woman are extremely high but they are by no means anything close or in the same realm to what Beck Barnicoat writes about. Furthermore, although I half jokingly approached both sides of the argument I by no means think any less of people women or men who choose to follow the main stream ideology. I myself am a fashion and fitness snob who although finds all those articles ridiculous I do care about my body image and own an array of suits and ties. The difference however is that I care about my body because of the personal idea I have of how MY body should look, having nothing to do with how attractive someone will find me. I like wearing a fitted suit and tie because I feel like I look freaking great in a suit and tie. I carry myself differently and I find myself less likely to prank my friends in a suit and tie which I'm sure they are all great full for.

There are unreasonable expectations on both sides of the gender spectrum. I understand that because of how unfairly women have been treated by a misogynist cloud that has been looming over society for far too long that they deserve and get more attention on the matter but, there are brothers, sons, husbands, and friends who I promise are walking a mile in your shoes so lets not forget about them.

All you guys who refuse to listen to the constant ridicule towards those absolutely hideous and unnecessary cargo shorts, good for you — wear whatever you're comfortable in and keep refusing to submit to other people's ideas of what they think you should be. You guys are freaking heroes.

If you wear Crocs, though... there is absolutely no place for you in society. Please leave.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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