I should have written this coming into 2018 but I didn't think this would happen, well no I knew it was going to happen but not so soon. I began my 2018 like everyone else with the phrase "This will be my year." but in the back of my head thinking it will most likely be the same. Every year was the same went to school, came home hung out with friends occasionally and stress out more about my future and how well I'm doing in college.

Every year my depression and anxiety have gotten more and worse and less easy to push to the back of my mind.

It was the new year, I had to say this will be "my year" as if my depression was magically going to go away. I found out the first month of my new year it was not going to go away, but that doesn't mean this will not be my year. This year I will no longer worry about anything else other than taking care of myself. I decided to dedicate all my time and energy into making myself better again.

I will learn to love myself and to accept who I am.

I have spent my 20 years trying to make everyone else happy and I didn't notice how unhappy I was becoming. I lost my joy for everything I loved to keep everyone else proud and I will never again lose myself for others again.

This will not be another year of pushing myself aside and still claiming it as being "my year." 2018 has already begun and I know the hardest part was this first month and it was admitting I needed help. I know this year will be rough but I know when I reach 2019 I can say it was really my year of healing. I think everyone should take the time and take care of yourself. I'm getting rid of the negative and embracing everything and everyone I love. I will get better this year I don't care how long or how hard it will be. I

will make it my year. I will be me again.