Man, funerals really are horrible. The idea of placing the on dead on display in some elaborate show of remembrance seldom allows any hint of joy. Ancient cultures relied heavily on their funeral and burial rituals to ensure their ancestors would pass on into the afterlife. Placing pennies on the eyes to cross the river Styx for the Greeks, the "Ba," the Egyptians idea of the personality that lived on after someone's physical form was gone to transcend the afterlife. As a skeptic of any certain "Great Beyond," this has always been silly. Cremate me, put me in some soil, and let me become a tree. At least trees provide oxygen.

I'm writing this article at 9:46 AM on a Thursday outside of a funeral home, because I lack the nerve to sit inside. The walls echo tragedy, sort of like there has probably been hundred's of dead people in this place. Ironically, German polka music plays in the background in upbeat tones, making this whole white and beige Victorian style center for grieving like a house of mirrors. The artificial smiles and plastic suits of the funeral directors have given me chills. Their eyes reveal how they really feel, a beady "We've seen this a million times."

I feel no "celebration of life" connotation at this place. I see no dichotomy between a funeral and someone's entire life. Nothing exists at a funeral but heartbreak, but tragedy. Life is filled with emotions on a grand spectrum. Melancholia radiates from the tacky wallpaper. My last memory of this person should not have been seeing them in an urn, it should be birthdays. Christmas, family events, the smiles and happy times.

This whole charade to me seems foolish, but my fourteen year old naive brother seems to take comfort in all this. I could leave it up to the possibility that this has been one too many funerals for me to feel anything but cold. Cold. When did I become so cold to ignore the last will and testament of someone I once loved? I wish I knew. Regardless of when, I hate funerals. Funerals have no positive spin on them. Only gloom, only misery.