From The Girl Who Never Thought She'd Like Going To A Liberal School
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From The Girl Who Never Thought She'd Like Going To A Liberal School

7 days in Arizona taught me that, even though I complain about going to school in a blue state, there is no place I rather be.

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From The Girl Who Never Thought She'd Like Going To A Liberal School

Florida could have never given me half of the life experience Chicago has. Not only did I chose a private school, but a big city too; best of both worlds right? When I first started attending DePaul, I never saw how amazing it was. That is until I spent the past seven days in Arizona.

At first, I could not put my finger on it; but then I realized that I was going to school where I was a minority. Hard to believe right? I am Colombian, so I already am a minority, but growing up in Naples never made me feel like I was a minority. My skin tone never mattered until I came to Chicago.

You can also say that Naples is a bubble, and just because it doesn't happen there, doesn't mean it is not happening in the world. I have never been to a city that is as segregated as Chicago. People do not even make eye contact with the homeless, they treat them as if they literally do not exist. A guy once told me I was "stupid for giving the homeless money." I destroyed his entire argument within minutes, because the money I chose to give, is no longer mine, and therefore they (the homeless) can do whatever the flip they want with the money I give them. Do they want to spend it on booze? Not my problem, they are already homeless, so what is a little bit of numbing going to do for them? Probably make them feel a little better, or maybe not.

One night, two friends and I were waiting for the el at Roosevelt and two men approached us. One of my friends had her hand around her pepper spray ready to use it, while the other one had 911 on dial. I greeted the men as they approached us, and one of them asked me if I had any spare change. I always keep spare change, so I gave them the only two dollars I had for the rest of the weekend, and they walked away. My friends looked at me as if I had some sort of super power or something. They could not understand how I did that. Did what? Talk to people, and helped them when I can?

All these events started changing something in me, part of it was sadness. Sadness that I am in a city, where being homeless, and hungry makes people indifferent. But also, made me realize that I rather see this, I rather feel uncomfortable any day overturning my back on the issues we have as a society. After adjusting to this change, everything else started making sense.

As a freshmen, I took a philosophy class in which every time I spoke I got shut down by my professor. He called it, "having a discussion, and if I start yelling it is only because I am passionate." I was 17 at the time, so I was scared out of my pants! But, by being in that class I realized that I was one of the few students that did not agree with the majority. Some students after class would tell me how they agreed with me, yet never spoke out in class; now I know why.

Then came sophomore year, and after studying abroad for the fall, I was ready to get my learning on! So I tuned in, and listen and made sure I was constantly aware. Again, I found myself in a liberal class. Safe to say, there were only three or four conservatives, out of 25 students. I dreaded that class! Sometimes I would talk myself out of going; why am I going to a class where people are constantly attacking me for believing in certain things. Then the low blows would come, such as: "you grew up in Florida, you don't know what real life is like," or my favorite, "you probably grew up in a wealthy town". Which are not lies, but what does that have anything to do with the discussion we are having? Why do you have to bring my background into this? Can we not have a conversation and you not judge what I am saying based on where I come from? Yes, I grew up a certain way, but that has nothing to do with the person I am today. Again, I would walk out of class and students would come up to me and tell me how brave I was for standing up for what I believed in; and sometimes during class, we would lock eye contact, and sometimes they would speak up.

I realized that no matter how accepting we want and try to be, we are never going to do that without a little discomfort. I never considered myself a homophobic, but then I took a philosophy class about sex and gender and saw the Netflix documentary, Paris is Burning, and could barely keep my eyes open. I was so uncomfortable I couldn't eat. I, Maria Marrugo, felt grossed out. Why? Who am I to feel uncomfortable? I am not the one with the gender change, so how am I being affected in this? It's because I wasn't exposed to it. I mean, seriously, how many people would admit to that. Here I am, complaining that I feel uncomfortable about a movie, when these people have to deal with that for their entire life! Needless to say, I have come a long way from that 18-year-old self.

4th of July, 2017

I found myself in Arizona for the 4th of July. Aside from my brother, I knew absolutely no one in Tucson. I succumbed to the millennial way, Tinder, but was too scared to follow through. Then I saw people hanging out by the pool and I decided to just go up and talk to them. First, I had to prepare myself mentally. I was freaking out, I wanted to just go up and say hi, but my body was tweaking out, my breathing was hard. Five phone calls later, my friends gave me the pep talk I needed to hear. Karissa told me I was freaking out for no reason, and I needed to just go say hi. I was literally sweating, by the time I decided to do something about it. But I went up and said hi, the awkwardness only lasted about four seconds, because right after I said hi, a girl signaled me to come over and stand next to her, and the next thing I know I am in one team playing table games.

The night progresses, and I find myself talking and bonding with people I will probably see once a year. Then I meet this guy from New Jersey and without thinking, I yelled: "I love the East Coast, I am such an East Coast person!". Everyone looked at us like, "what the heck"? Here I am in a red state reminiscing about blue states. I can finally talk some politics without feeling uncomfortable. He was the only person from his friend group to go to Arizona, and I was the only person from my friend group to go to Illinois! Someone that knows what I am talking about, without having to explain myself, it was amazing. I was confused as to why I couldn't just say certain things or act a certain way. It is not cool to be nice around here, and I was confused. I was picking up on the social cues, and I was not liking them. The girls were passive aggressive, and I was confused, why? No one was bonding, they were just talking about nothing in particular. Who cares about where you got your bathing suit, I want to know if you believe in your horoscope? That night, was by far the best night of my life; it made me have faith in our (millennial) generation again. We are not that messed up, we just all go through a lot, and think it's cool to pretend like we are tough, when we are everything but tough. We go through things, we can't talk to our parents about, because they have no idea what it is like to grow up with all this social media, and the damage it does to our subconscious.

I looked at this girl, and in two minutes noticed something that was clearly upsetting her, and asked her about it. I mean, how many people actually ask the hard questions? She was surprised and asked me how I knew ( I know because I have done those things too), she has only talked to her mother about it. Isn't that sad? So many people around us, yet everyone is too caught up in their own life to ask how you if you are okay? We exchanged numbers, and told her I was going to text her the next day. She looked like she didn't believe me, so I said it again, I promise I will text you tomorrow, and we will hang out before I leave. I am currently texting her and we have plans for tonight. Now Chicago is no better, and if anything it has just as much, and even more troubled millennials. But at least in Chicago, it is acceptable to be weird. You don't have to be cool to fit in. The first time I met half my (sorority) sisters, I was literally crying with snot on my nose telling them how, "I just want friends that are nice and can talk to about poop." If I said that here, they would have given me that look girls give when they are insecure that makes you want to leave.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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