It’s your relationship guru Marguerite here looking to impart some girl/guy wisdom on you. Okay, well it’s not my wisdom, it’s a compilation of other people’s wisdom who are more knowledgeable about what guys/girls want and what qualities the opposite sex looks for in a person. Therefore, I bribed, begged, pleaded, but really only said “please”, when I asked both guys and girls:
a) what qualities they look for in a person
b) what advice they would give the opposite sex.
Sounds like an enticing read right? Read on my single friends and be enlightened by what the opposite sex has to say.
Girls, ladies, women; this ones for you. Also, these are from a guy’s perspectives on what they are looking for in a female partner and advice they can give us on guys because boy do we need it.
PSA: Guys aren’t looking for us to be perfect because HELLO no one is perfect, no matter how perfect someone seems. And yes, it may be hard to believe but guys are actually interested in our personality. “Bullsh*t,” says the unfortunate looking girl with a killer personality. Well, it’s true because they know as well as we do that one-day our looks will fade and they don’t want to end up with some shriveled up prune that can’t even make conversation. Granted, I can’t defend all guys and say that looks aren’t important to them because let’s be honest looks are important to both girls and guys. If there’s not some physical chemistry or attractiveness to the other person then they are just your friend.
Guys look for girls that can kick it with their parents. This goes back to the personality thing as well. Ladies, if you don’t mesh with the boy’s parents you should probably just hit the road. Deep down all the fellas are momma’s boy on some level.
Some dudes are interested in girls who are thoughtful. Be the rare exception and dig for the deeper questions when talking to a guy, you never know how much he’ll appreciate it. Bypass the “what’s your job?” “Do you have pets?” boring questions. Those are important but you’ll figure them out eventually.
I’m a girl, obviously, and even I can admit that we play mind games. Why? I truly don’t know. Fun fact: guys aren’t really into mind games. Maybe try the honest route next time? One thing that most of the guys I asked agreed upon was that they wanted a girl who was honest. Honesty is the best policy. Being with someone who is honest just makes life immensely easy. You know exactly what the other person is thinking, you know what the person is feeling, and most importantly there are no secrets or silly mind games.
I am not saying that high maintenance girls are a problem. Some guys may prefer high maintenance girls, to each their own. From the feedback I received, guys are more interested in girls who are laid back or down to earth. The ones who appreciate a nice dinner but are also totally cool with watching a football game on a Sunday, that’s the dream.
People of the female (species, class or gender) have a talent for taking things to seriously. How exhausting! Loosen up, lighten up, and grow a funny bone. Nothing is more attractive than a girl with a kick-butt sense of humor. Girls, gauge the dude carefully. Some don’t like it when the girl is funnier than he is, but others need someone who is funnier to bring him out of his shell. That decision is up to you.
Granted there are more qualities that a girl could possess that guys find attractive but I’m only one girl with limited guy friends so that’s all I got for now. On to the advice, shall we?
This is a big one: calm down. You don’t want to be one of the psycho girls that checks their significant others phone all the time for the fear that they are texting another girl. Guys, at the same time, don’t give us any reason to be suspicious. Girls have the ability to automatically think of the worst possible scenario from the get go so try to trust the guy a little so you don’t screw up the relationship before it even starts.
Always be yourself. If you try to act like someone differently when you first meet a guy then he is not getting to know the real you. Chances are the next time you meet he will be expecting the person that you were before, not the person that you actually are. If you want to actually mesh with someone you both gotta be real.
From the wise mind of an older dude here is a nugget of advice from someone who has been around the block a few times: guys are simple. They mean what they so for the love all things cheese stop trying to read into a guy’s text message. The fact that he loves ice cream by no way means that he loves you too. They usually say what the feel and feel what they say so don’t make them out to be the bad guy or expect a guy from a Nicholas Sparks book.
Be aware that guys talk as much as girls do. It’s a Saturday night and girls are getting to ready go out. They are gossiping, sipping on wine, and wondering what guys they will see out tonight. Guys do the same thing but sans wine. They gossip like no other just in a different way. Know that the person you are seeing has probably told his friends who have probably talked about you. Don’t be surprised if someone who you don’t know knows you.
Bros, homies, boys, men, dudes, male figures; this one’s for you. Here are what qualities girls are looking for in guys and what advice they can give you about girls. Look, I’m not saying you should listen to me but I asked some pretty awesome human beings so these qualities and advice are pretty spot on, so it would do you well to heed this advice.
I’m sorry to start out with this one because the ‘nice’ guys won’t believe it, but girls really are looking for the nice guy. Granted us girls don’t know what we want 90% of the time, but, what we really want is a nice guy who is going to treat us right. And right doesn’t mean wine and dine, bring us roses everyday, and wait on our hand and foot. All guys really have to do is act interested, show that they care, and ask about our lives instead of just talking about yourself. No one likes someone who always just talks about themselves. Boring.
This should go without saying but boys, be kind. Be kind to our family, friends, and any stranger that you meet when you’re with us. Kindness should be a basic human function but sometimes people forget how important kindness is. Show us that you have a heart and soul and we will keep it close to us.
Look guys, basically, if you’re not funny then I’m sorry to say but you’re pretty much screwed. Every girl is looking for someone who can make her laugh. It is imperative that you have a sense of humor. If you don’t maybe there’s a class out there for you? It is beyond impressive if you can make us laugh because sometimes we take life too seriously. Also, remind us not to take life too seriously. While you’re trying to figure out how to be funny you should also learn how to make mundane things enjoyable. There will be times when things are awkward, boring, or tense but if you can make that time more enjoyable than major props to you.
This is kind of advice, but also a quality. It is very attractive when a guy knows what he wants and can make decisions. Majority of the time girls are beyond indecisive and if you leave the decision up to us there won’t be a decision to be made. Sorry about it. Take control if you’re with the type of girl that likes a guy in control, that’s up to you though, sorry pal. Be confident because that will make us want you more.
Intelligence is sexy. We expect the average guy who graduated from college with a degree. We get on some level that everyone has a brain but show us that you are intelligent, worldly, and knowledgeable. Grab a dictionary or a book and act like you spend more time searching for new information than searching for porn.
Sooooooo, this may have been more qualities that the guys received than girls, but we take our help where we can get it. Now most importantly, the advice.
If you skipped the whole article and only read this, totally fine. I am not offended. If anything I applaud you for getting to the most helpful part of the article for guys.
Don’t be afraid to ask us out. We are not as intimidating as we appear and deep down we really want you to ask us on a date. We are also extremely stubborn so we will not be the ones to ask you on a date first, it’s just the way we are. A lot of girls would love the opportunity to go on a fun date outside of a frat party or bar scene. It doesn’t have to be the big ordeal, just something we can go squeal to our friends about later.
Do not, and I mean DO NOT, assume that all girls want a relationship. I get this feeling that guys assume if a girl is interested in you that immediately means she wants to be in a relationship with you. Please get off your high horse because that is not the case. Some girls are even chiller than guys when it comes to relationships. There are girls who want a casual hookup and you will surely offend her if you think she wants a relationship from you. On the other hand, never assume a girl who wants a relationship is going to be okay with a casual hookup. She’s lying no matter how hard she denies it. No girl is the same.
Be more open-minded when it comes to the people you date. This goes for both guys and girls. Sometimes we have blinders on because we are looking for the perfect human being and don’t get give others the time of day. The more open-minded we are the more possibilities there are and the less complaining there will be about the lack of options. Don’t search for the perfect person because we come to love by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
Don’t try so hard to impress us. Contrary to popular belief we are simple human beings. Remembering our names will even score you mega points on our board. There’s no need to get belligerent drunk or act like the coolest guy in the room. We are aware that you are by far the weirdest guy in the room and that’s why we want to be around you. Know that we are human as well and just want to be treated like one. A donut would make us happy.
Also guys, girls like dudes who are taller than them so I’m just suggesting that if you’re on the short side look for some platforms. I say this with 100% seriousness, to some it’s a deal breaker. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Guys and girls: be the kind of person that your mom and dad raised you to be. Never try to be someone you’re not because then, you’re going to end up with someone who is completely wrong for you.
Holy mackerel that was a boat load of information. You are welcome.
Marguerite out *proverbial mic drop*