Living with depression is never easy. I could tell you that there are days I can't get out of bed or about how I helplessly watched myself losing interest in things I used to love. I could tell you how lonely I felt while I isolated myself from the people who care about me the most, but I'm sure you've heard similar stories before. Instead, I will tell you about how a cactus saved my life.
I never thought I would be the gardening type. It seemed like a lot of work and I'm not a big fan of getting my hands dirty. On a day when I emphatically did not want leave my room or be around people, my friends dragged me to a farmers market. One stand, in particular, caught my eye: a vendor with a variety of colorful cacti in decorated ceramic pots. I found a round, spiky one in a black and white striped pot that I thought was cute. I even went as far as to name my little cactus Piney. Even though I thought that under my care it would be dead in a week, I bought it.
I checked on my cactus every day. Did it need water? Was it getting enough sun? How much had it grown? Having something to take care of motivated me to get out of bed even when my depression made it difficult. I knew that little cactus relied on me to continue thriving and it gave me a sense of purpose. It makes me feel good about myself when I saw its growth; not only did I have a purpose, I was succeeding at it, and that did wonders for my self-worth.
Learning to take care of that cactus taught me to take care of myself. If I neglected the cactus, it withered. No matter how dry and dead it looked, with when I took care of it again, it slowly began to flourish. It hit me one day that I needed to treat myself with the same love and care that I treat my cactus. No matter how horrible I feel, taking small steps to maintain my physical, mental, and emotional well-being slowly helped me make progress with my mental health and in other areas of my life.
Did that cactus cure my depression? No. But it helped me cope during one of the most difficult times in life. Self-care is vital, even for people who don't struggle with mental illness and I think we can all learn to take better care of ourselves by taking care of another living thing.