New Years Resolutions Are Fake News

New Years Resolutions Are Fake News

It's time to make more realistic goals and focus on becoming the best version of you, not a better you.

When will we finally stop with the "New Year's Resolutions" talk??

I have a hard time watching friends and family talk about their New Year's Resolutions each year. It seems that we spend a huge amount of time researching and coming up with the newest and healthiest trends to get ready for the new year...or new you...better you?

You might not like my opinion, but I think New Year's Resolutions are bull crap.

This is how the story goes each and every year: we come up with a list of to-do's or "resolutions" to make us a healthier, stronger, prettier, and more likable person. After a solid week of going to overcrowded gyms, eating all greens, and giving up our favorite soda, somehow it all seems to slip away and then we experience disappointment or a feeling of un-fulfillment that is now carried with us.

It is a terrible feeling knowing that you couldn't obtain your goal for the new year or that you don't have a strong enough will to achieve something you really want.

There may be some of you that are hardcore as f*** and master the hot new bod you're looking for, but for most of us, it never happens.

So, what if we stopped New Year's Resolutions in total? Completely got rid of them and created year-long obtainable goals?

For example, I only worked out on a regular basis twice a week in 2017, and I personally feel I can do a lot better than that. But, I never scheduled it in my planner to make time for a healthier routine.

For 2018, I have already bookmarked fitness for three times a week in my planner. This is not me saying that for a resolution, I will work out every day and lose 10 pounds; this is me trying to be realistic with my schedule and wanting to be the best version of myself.

If something comes up, will I be disappointed if I work out only twice instead of three times? No, because I know there is always next week.

Another goal of mine for 2018 is to talk to loved ones more often. I felt in 2017 that I was a little distant from some family members and friends just with my busy schedule, so I have placed some reminders in my planner to be thinking more of others and not just of myself. I want to make sure I maintain great relationships with my loved ones in this fun and exciting time of my life.

I think that writing goals in a planner, on your sticky notes at work, or just small phone reminders is a great way to start focusing on small or larger goals that you want for 2018.

We truly get ahead of ourselves when we promise that we will eat healthy every single day — like what type of a goal is that? How is that maintainable? How is that possible in everyday living?

It's not.

If you want 2018 to be healthier, make a Pinterest page with fabulous meals so when you make a quick run to Target you have meals that you can think about prepping.

This life we are living is not meant to be perfect. We are not living to change ourselves and the way we are. Becoming a better version of you is possible, but not drastically reasonable. Making huge life-altering goals that we only stick with for two weeks is not good for our health or well-being.

Let's throw away the thought of New Year's Resolutions. Why don't we all take the wonderful opportunity of the new beginning of 2018 to make goals that will enhance us to become better versions of ourselves?

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.

You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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I Am 9,170 Miles Away But I Still Choose To Stand In Solidarity With The People Of Sri Lanka

Sri Lanka has its own flaws and imperfections, but what I've learned is that even on our darkest days, no one can take away faith and solidarity.


April 21, 2019. Easter Sunday.

I was devastated to wake up on Sunday morning to a series of missed calls and texts from friends asking whether my friends and family were affected by the terrorist attacks in Sri Lanka. I was shocked to read all of the news about the bombings in various churches and hotels that I'd visited on my trips to Sri Lanka. I remember wandering around the Cinnamon Grand Hotel in middle school hoping to get a glimpse of internationally famous cricket players like Lasith Malinga and Kumar Sangakkara.

Now, this hotel where I associated happy memories of staying up until 5 a.m. to watch the World Cup and running around with my brother is one of the 6 locations in Sri Lanka that was bombed on Easter.

Sri Lanka is a country that most of my peers have never heard of. It brings a smile to my face when I'm able to talk about the amazing experiences I've had on this island nation. I'm able to talk about how I almost got run over by an elephant during a safari in Yala National Park, how I took surfing lessons at Arugam Bay, and how I climbed all the way up Mount Sigiriya when I was 4 years old. All of these experiences have shown me the beauty of the people, the nature, the animals, and the culture of Sri Lanka. While there is so much to appreciate, there is also so much to acknowledge about its recent history.

In 2009, the 30-year civil war finally came to an end. I remember going to my parents' room when I was nine, and watching live streams of people in the streets celebrating that the war had finally ended. This was a war that caused the majority of my family to flee the country to avoid the violence and destruction. Now, almost ten years after the war ended, there was a coordinated attack on churches and hotels that led to the murder of over 300 innocent citizens and wounded around 500 people.

Sri Lanka isn't perfect, but it's roots and culture have made me who I am today. Even though I wasn't alive during the majority of the war, it has left a lasting impact on my family. My mom had to go by herself to Russia, without any prior Russian language experience, to avoid being in the middle of the war. She now speaks English, Russian, Tamil, and Sinhalese. I had other family members who fled to places like New Zealand, Nigeria, Canada, and Australia.

Because of the war, I have family all over the world who can speak Mandarin, Arabic, Dutch, Malay, French, Russian, and so many more languages. Being Sri Lankan has given me an international perspective on the world around me and has given me the insight to look past cultural differences. Instead of going to shopping malls with my cousins like my friends in the US do, I meander through bazaars in Singapore and Malaysia or go dune-bashing in the United Arab Emirates.

When people look at me, they never think that my last name could be Paul. Shouldn't it be something that is hard to pronounce or something much longer? My last name dates back to 1814 when missionaries from Williams College traveled all the way to villages in the Northern parts of Sri Lanka to share God's love. My great great great grandfather studied in one of the many Christian schools and his faith has been passed down from generation to generation. No matter how dark things got during the war, faith is what kept my family going.

Though Sri Lanka has faced adversity over the years, it continues to grow stronger. Through violence, hurricanes, government corruption, and internal conflicts, Sri Lanka continues to push through. Sri Lanka has its own flaws and imperfections, but what I've learned is that even on our darkest days, no one can take away faith and solidarity.

So today—9,170 miles away—I stand with the people of Sri Lanka.

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