I Documented All The Times I Said 'Sorry' Throughout The Day, Here's What Happened

I Documented All The Times I Said 'Sorry' Throughout The Day, Here's What Happened

I said it again.
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I watched this BuzzFeed video and wanted to try it out myself. Here's what happened.

On May 5, 2018, I decided to keep track of how many times I said "sorry." I already knew I said it quite frequently, but I didn't realize how much that "quite frequently" really was.

8:30 A.M.

I arose from a deep slumber due to college being stressful as heck.

8:56 A.M.

I said sorry to my dog because I forgot to give him food. :(

10:04 A.M.

I opened the door while someone else was coming out, and felt bad (or something) and said "sorry." Why did I do that? I do not know.

10:13 A.M.

I said it again.

10:50 A.M.

Why have I said this word so many times already? I said it when I closed a door "too hard."

11:27 A.M.

I caught myself, but I almost said sorry because I forgot to get something and apologized for forgetting something so minuscule.

1:12 P.M.

Solid. I've gone awhile without saying "that word." Until someone asked for my name and out came the word. I said sorry for not saying my name. What?

2:43 P.M.

Ok, this time I said "that word" because I felt bad about something, but I must document it. Still, this word has been said far too many times.

6:37 P.M.

I'm doing better at this point. That was until a friend texted me asking me if I can hang out and out rolled "that word." I said sorry because I couldn't hang out. I don't understand either.

8:39 P.M.

I said sorry to my dog, again. He's just so cute. And those eyes, they will get you.

9:13 P.M.

I left a jar of peanut butter out, and again I said sorry. I could have just said, "I'll put it away." NOPE. I said "that word."

Ten times. I said "Sorry" ten times in less than 13 hours. I have a multitude of feeling about this.

First, why do I say this word so much? I'm not "mad" at myself. I'm more frustrated. "Sorry" is becoming one of those things that we just say. It's like asking "How are you?"

My second response to all of my "Sorrys" is a large question mark. I opened a door. Why am I sorry? I didn't say my name. Why am I sorry? It makes me wonder if my "true" sorrys, are actual sorrys.

My third response to the "Sorrys" is if people still hear that word. Does it fly over our heads as if it is no big deal or do we genuinely hear it and respect it.

My fourth, and final response to "that word" was telling myself to only say "sorry" when I mean it. I wouldn't want someone to say "sorry" to me and not mean it, so why am I doing it?

No matter what you identify as it is time to stop saying "that word" unless we mean it. I hear it all the time, and I know 50% of the time they're not sorry. They are simply saying it to feel better.

Let's reserve "I'm sorry" for when it really needs to be said.

Cover Image Credit: Emily Henrichs

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The Truth About Dating A Girl With An Anxiety Disorder

She knows how annoying she can be, but she just prays you love her regardless of her flaws.

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Anxiety: A nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

The definition makes it sound really daunting. Truthfully, there is no one way to describe generalized anxiety disorder if you have it. It is hard to live with, hard to cope with and unfortunately, really hard to date with.

Girls with anxiety are different than the average girl when it comes to relationships. That's just an honest statement, no matter how much it hurts me to say it.

We need the constant reminder that you love us, even though we know in our hearts that you do. We panic when you don't answer your phone, in fear that we did something wrong. We care about your feelings when you say that we don't need to worry and we need to be a little calmer. But it's so damn hard.

It isn't easy to love someone who worries about everything 24/7. Half the time, we know we shouldn't be doing the things we do. We know we shouldn't blow up your phone or ask just one more time if you are mad at us. But we can't help it. It says it right in the definition: compulsive behavior due to excessive uneasiness.

Being with a girl with anxiety is probably downright exhausting. It's exhausting for us to have our minds constantly running and worrying. But I promise it's worth it.

We come to you with everything because you are the one person who always knows how to make us feel better. When we are happy, you are the one person we want to be happy with. We all know the constant reassurance, reminders and the same old arguments get old. It gets old to us too.

There was never a time I wanted to have a panic attack because my boyfriend wasn't answering his phone. In my head, I knew where he was because he was usually in the same three places. I knew he wasn't mad at me because I didn't do anything to make him upset. I knew how busy he was with his classes and he was probably studying and I needed to give him space. But the little voice in my head always argued, "What if you did something wrong? What if he's ignoring you because he's angry? What if he's seen your messages and calls, but no longer wants to be with you?" And then I give in. I call, I text, I cry, I panic. Only to feel even worse 10, 30 or 50 minutes later because you answer angrily, telling me what I already knew after I did what I knew I shouldn't have done.

Having anxiety is almost like having a drug addiction. You know all the things that trigger you. You know all the ways to stay away from the bad places in your mind so you don't end up relapsing. But you do anyway and it hurts worse every single time.

Dating a girl with anxiety is as hard as it gets, but she will love you like no other. She is so incredibly thankful for all the things you put up with to be with her. Because she is worried about being loved, she goes the extra mile to always remind you how much you are loved. She always asks if you are ok because she cares about the answer and knows what it's like not to be ok.

The truth is that dating anybody with anxiety is difficult, but it isn't impossible. You get back everything you put in, even though you may not realize it. Trust me, she is sorry for being the annoying, crying, worried, naggy mess and it embarrasses her because she knows better and she wants to be better for you. But please love her. Hold her, understand her, listen to her, calm her, be there for her. In your heart, you know she would turn around and do all the same things for you in a heartbeat.

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A Day In The Life Of A Socially Anxious Person

"I better lower the volume of my phone. Someone sitting next to me might hear what music I'm listening to and judge my song choice."

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According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), social anxiety disorder affects 15 million adults in the United States. It is one of the most common mental illness and yet a lot of people don't know what social anxiety disorder (SAD) exactly is and have misconceptions about it. Social anxiety is often misunderstood as shyness. However, SAD goes beyond shyness. For someone with SAD, daily social interactions can be stressful to handle because of fear of negative evaluation and embarrassment.

To eliminate misunderstandings and spread awareness about SAD, here's a picture diary of what a day in the life of a socially anxious person looks like.

8:30 a.m.

"I better hurry and switch off my alarm before my roommate wakes up. I'm afraid she might hate me for waking her up this early."

12:00 p.m.

"I know the answer to this question but I'm too scared to answer. What if it is wrong and I embarrass myself in front of everyone?"

3:00 p.m.

"I better lower the volume of my phone. Someone sitting next to me might hear what music I'm listening to and judge my song choice."

5:00 p.m.

"I better keep practicing my order in my head otherwise I might stumble upon my words and make a fool of myself."

7:00 p.m.

"I am just going to delay answering this call as I'm afraid to answer the phone. I don't know who is on the other side and am not exactly sure what to say."

10:00 p.m.

"I'd rather not sleep, as if I try to, I'll be reevaluating all the embarrassing moments of my day."

Along with these thoughts, a person suffering from SAD might also experience physical symptoms like nausea, dizziness, flushing, palpitations, shortness of breath and tightness in the chest. If your day looks anything like the picture diary above and you have been experiencing physical symptoms, do not be afraid to seek help.

According to a survey conducted by ADAA, 36% of people with social anxiety disorder report experiencing symptoms for 10 or more years before seeking help. If you are someone who is suffering from SAD, always remember that there's hope. Always seek help as social anxiety disorder is treatable through medication and therapy.

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