Butterflies!

You never really notice how fast 4 years can go by, and the experiences that you come across, friends that you make and the parties you went to time goes by with a blink of an eye. Recently, it really hit me that I am graduating in December, and don’t get me wrong, I am extremely excited but nervous. I feel like every person who is on the verge of graduation or has graduated has had so many thoughts going on in their minds: Will I find a job right after? Will I stay in the city my university is in? Will I go to grad school? Will I go to grad school because I am not ready for the real world?

No longer can I skip class if I am not feeling it, get a big refund, or even have super easy on campus job and still get paid (even when I don’t show up!). It really had me thinking the other day when someone asked me "are you ready to graduate?" I replied joyfully. "Yes! I cant wait!" But she had seen the expression on my face. She said she could tell there something else behind it and that’s when we talked about after college life.

In 5 minutes, she helped me realize I'm not scared to graduate because its time, but I am scared to fail. I am scared of the aftermath and I am scared of not making it or disappointing my family. I'm the oldest child and of course you feel the pressure you have to start off right so your siblings can have someone to look up to.

I just want my sister and my parents to be proud.

I just can't imagine going through school for 4 years, being involved, and doing internships to end up not doing what I love. I see so many people who have graduated but are working jobs they don’t like. I know I am not going to get my dream job straight out of college, and I have to work my way up (which I am fine with), but its just the thought of not doing what I love that kills me!

So I really just started to pray and recognize the fact you get out of life what you put in. So as long as I focus on God and do what I have to do to get ahead, it will all will work out in the end.