For those who do not know what I am talking about, Grand Canyon University has what is called a “Campus Operations Department,” which deals with parking and shuttle carts. I, my dears, am one of those cart drivers. We ride around for about five to seven hours giving students and faculty members' rides all over campus. Some of you hate us, some of you don’t.
Here's the thing, driving golf carts on campus is really fun. However, awkward cart rides are not okay. Ever. They're unpleasant and just make everything weird and uncomfortable for everyone. Honestly, sometimes you kind of just want to tell them, “sorry, please get out.” But, that, of course, is not acceptable so you're left suffering in a bubble of awkwardness for the next two to five minutes (which, by the way, feels like an eternity).
Let's not forget to mention the awkward (and terrible) pick-up lines. “I like the way you drive, so I am going to ask for your number.” I’m sorry, what? I cannot make these things up people, this actually happened. And it was awful. I am pretty sure this person could have come up with a better line to get my number. Maybe if he had put in more than two seconds of thought into it, I would have replied to his message – yes, I gave him my number, I have a hard time saying “No” to people, but I also told him if he called or texted I wasn't going to reply.
Being a cart driver is like being a mini therapist on wheels. As a courtesy (and to avoid the awkward silence) I always ask how a person's day is going and let me tell you unless you really care, don't ask. I have had people vent the entire cart ride about how their boyfriend/girlfriend got mad at them for something that ‘was no big deal.’ It is moments like those when I thank God I am single.
Just as there are downsides and awkward moments to being a cart driver there is a silver lining. I get to meet and interact with great people. I mean, there was this one time when two guys spilled a bottle of water on my back, but I was not upset. It wasn't done on purpose and I was laughing and joking around with them before it happened. If one of you guys is reading this, I forgive you. But I will forever tell the story.
I get asked the same two questions, everyday. “How do I get this job? Is it true that I get my tuition paid if I get hit by one of these carts?” Well, to answer those questions, I transferred from a different department but just like every other job, one needs to apply. And no, you will not get your tuition paid, that’s a theory. So please stop walking/skateboarding/biking in the middle of the road when were driving, it’s annoying and you’re endangering your life over a theory.