"You're useless. You are completely useless. You are, without a doubt, the most incompetent detectives I've ever seen. And I am including that bomb sniffing dog that humps all the bombs." | The Odyssey Online
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11 Quotes From 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' That You Need To Hear Right This Minute

Try not to laugh too hard, Scully.

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"Brooklyn Nine-Nine" is one of the hottest new comedies facing television today, with quirky characters, amazing humor, and a plot that only gets better with time. The humor of this show cannot be stopped, providing fans around the globe with quotes that keep everyone laughing. Here are some of the best quotes from the Nine-Nine.

"Let me tell you something about Tinker Bell. Tinker Bell is a loyal lieutenant and a real thorn in the side of Captain Hook."

Good ole Tinker Bell!

"Look, I didn't spend the last seven years watching your love ripen, only to have it sullied by a city hall wedding. You're getting married right here, right now."

Charles is the ultimate BFF!

"My Nana always said, "Bad news first because the good news is probably a lie." Fun fact: she made me cry a lot."

I love fun facts!!

"Are you blackmailing me? I don't have any money, Hitchcock. I'm still paying my uncle's funeral bills. I rear-ended the hearse. It was a mess."

Good one.

"He should already think you're great. Like with my dad. He doesn't need me to prove to him that Jake Peralta's the best cop in the precinct, he knows it."

What. A. Guy.

"You're useless. You are completely useless. You are, without a doubt, the most incompetent detectives I've ever seen. And I am including that bomb sniffing dog that humps all the bombs."

Sad stuff, my dudes.

This conversation between the best buds

Boyle: I know you think my judgment's clouded because I like her a little bit.
Jake: You doodled your wedding invitation.
Boyle: No, that's our joint tombstone.
Jake: My mistake.

"Hell, yes. It's like a Bonnie Raitt concert in here."

PARTY TIME

"Yeah, I'm my own worst enemy."

What a mood.

 "If anything happens to Jake, I'll never forgive myself. My last words to him were, "No, you're the man."

You ARE the man, Jake, but it would be sad for those be the last words you hear from Charles.

 "No, there's no one in my life. *wink* Sort of a sad thing to wink about, I realize now."

Sad stuff, man, sad stuff.

"Brooklyn Nine-Nine" is hilarious, and I highly recommend you watch it!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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