Don't Be Afraid To Burn Down All The Broken Bridges In Your Life

Don't Be Afraid To Burn Down All The Broken Bridges In Your Life

Growing up, we were always told not to burn our bridges, but if it is broken enough, set that thing to flames.
138
views

What do you do when a person you were counting on doesn't have your back?

We don't often have to ask ourselves this question (god willing), but it does come around every once in a blue moon. We find ourselves in this heavy middle between feeling betrayed and half-expecting the abandonment. The sad part is, as much as you try to count on people, you always have to keep in the back of your mind the fact that they won't always be there for you, even when you need them.

Betrayal can incite a long list of emotions starting with anger and ending in disappointment with a full encapsulation of sadness. We tend to act out in these situations by either saying things we don't mean or saying the things we do mean but delivering them in an overly harsh manner. Because the betrayal catches you by surprise, there's no way to fully prepare for the feeling of defeat, but my one piece of advice is to just walk away.

Take time for yourself to reflect on the feelings brewing deep inside you, whether they be anxiety or ferocity. Step back and ask yourself how you would see things from their point of view in the situation, regardless of your feelings toward them. Sometimes, there really is no excuse for their disconcerting behavior, especially when all it would have taken was making you feel understood and accepted, but to be blunt, people suck. As the saying goes, the only person you can truly count on is yourself. But don't let that discourage you or ruin a friendship, just keep in mind how they acted in a situation when you thought you could count on them.

We're always told to treat others the way we wish to be treated, yet somehow, many people seem to have missed that lesson in their young, impressionable lives. One thing I have to say to you, reader: don't stoop to their level. You know better and no amount of betrayal should allow you to be lesser as a person if even for a moment. As yet another saying goes, forgive but don't forget.

In relationships, we tend to make excuses for the other person. If you try to rationalize their behavior, the situation may be even worse than you think, because no one should ever reflect their personal feelings on your hard time to make you feel lost and alone. Unless you did something wrong to them, if they don't have your back, they aren't being a good friend – it's cut and dry.

At the end of the day, you need to decide whether your friend is truly a friend. If you can sit back and feel satisfied with how they've acted over the course of your friendship with only a few minor slipups, well congratulations, you found yourself a keeper. But if all you can recognize are the downfalls and mixed emotions, it may be time to move on to bigger and better people.

Situations can be black and white if you let them, so stop clouding the air by making excuses for their poor behavior.

Go to the people in your life who you know will support you. If you run to a person who consistently makes you feel worse, it's time to move on. Discover the true friendships in your life and the ones that will stand the test of time, not falter with a small breeze. The only friends in your life should be ones you can count on, so don't be afraid to burn down the broken bridges.

Cover Image Credit: kevin laminto

Popular Right Now

I Am A College Student, And I Think Free Tuition Is Unfair To Everyone Who's Already Paid For It

Stop expecting others to pay for you.

3767
views

I attend Fordham University, a private university in the Bronx.

I commute to school because I can't afford to take out more loans than I already do.

Granted, I've received scholarships because of my grades, but they don't cover my whole tuition. I am nineteen years old and I have already amassed the debt of a 40-year-old. I work part-time and the money I make covers the bills I have to pay. I come from a middle-class family, but my dad can't afford to pay off my college loans.

I'm not complaining because I want my dad to pay my loans off for me; rather I am complaining because while my dad can't pay my loans off (which, believe me, he wants too), he's about to start paying off someone else's.

During the election, Bernie frequently advocated for free college.

Now, if he knew enough about economics he would know it simply isn't feasible. Luckily for him, he is seeing his plan enacted by Cuomo in NY. Cuomo has just announced that in NY, state public college will be free.

Before we go any further, it's important to understand what 'free' means.

Nothing is free; every single government program is paid for by the taxpayers. If you don't make enough to have to pay taxes, then something like this doesn't bother you. If you live off welfare and don't pay taxes, then something like this doesn't bother you. When someone offers someone something free, it's easy to take it, like it, and advocate for it, simply because you are not the one paying for it.

Cuomo's free college plan will cost $163,000,000 in the first year (Did that take your breath away too?). Now, in order to pay for this, NY state will increase their spending on higher education to cover these costs. Putting two and two together, if the state decides to raise their budget, they need money. If they need money they look to the taxpayers. The taxpayers are now forced to foot the bill for this program.

I think education is extremely important and useful.

However, my feelings on the importance of education does not mean that I think it should be free. Is college expensive? Yes -- but more so for private universities. Public universities like SUNY Cortland cost around $6,470 per year for in-state residents. That is still significantly less than one of my loans for one semester.

I've been told that maybe I shouldn't have picked a private university, but like I said, I believe education is important. I want to take advantage of the education this country offers, and so I am going to choose the best university I could, which is how I ended up at Fordham. I am not knocking public universities, they are fine institutions, they are just not for me.

My problems with this new legislation lie in the following: Nowhere are there any provisions that force the student receiving aid to have a part-time job.

I work part-time, my sister works part-time, and plenty of my friends work part-time. Working and going to school is stressful, but I do it because I need money. I need money to pay my loans off and buy my textbooks, among other things. The reason I need money is because my parents can't afford to pay off my loans and textbooks as well as both of my sisters'. There is absolutely no reason why every student who will be receiving aid is not forced to have a part-time job, whether it be working in the school library or waitressing.

We are setting up these young adults up for failure, allowing them to think someone else will always be there to foot their bills. It's ridiculous. What bothers me the most, though, is that my dad has to pay for this. Not only my dad, but plenty of senior citizens who don't even have kids, among everyone else.

The cost of living is only going up, yet paychecks rarely do the same. Further taxation is not a solution. The point of free college is to help young adults join the workforce and better our economy; however, people my parents' age are also needed to help better our economy. How are they supposed to do so when they can't spend their money because they are too busy paying taxes?

Free college is not free, the same way free healthcare isn't free.

There is only so much more the taxpayers can take. So to all the students about to get free college: get a part-time job, take personal responsibility, and take out a loan — just like the rest of us do. The world isn't going to coddle you much longer, so start acting like an adult.

Cover Image Credit: https://timedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2017/04/free-college-new-york-state.jpg?quality=85

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

A Little Skepticism Goes A Long Way

Be informed citizens and verify what you see and hear.

rahma
rahma
69
views

These days more than ever before we are being bombarded constantly by a lot of news and information, a considerable amount of which is inaccurate. Sometimes there's an agenda behind it to mislead people and other times its just rumors or distortion of the facts. So, how do you sift through all this and get accurate information? How can you avoid being misled or brainwashed?

This is an important topic because the decisions each of us make can affect others. And if you are a responsible citizen your decisions can affect large numbers of people, hopefully positively, but negatively as well.

It's been said that common sense is not something that can be taught, but I am going to disagree. I think with the right training, teaching the fundamentals behind common sense can get people to have a better sense of what it is and start practicing it. All you will need is to improve your general knowledge and gain some experience, college is a good place for that, then add a little skepticism and you are on your way to start making sensible decisions.

One of the fundamental things to remember is not to believe a statement at face value, you must first verify. Even if you believe it's from a trusted source, they may have gotten their info from a questionable one. There's a saying that journalists like to use: "if your mother said, 'I love you' you should verify it.'" While this is taking it a bit too far, you get the idea.

If you feel that something is not adding up, or doesn't make sense then you are probably right. This is all the more reason to check something out further. In the past, if someone showed a picture or video of something that was sufficient proof. But nowadays with so many videos and picture editing software, it would have to go through more verification to prove its authenticity. That's not the case with everything but that's something that often needs to be done.

One way of checking if something sounds fishy is to look at all the parties involved and what do they have to gain and lose. This sometimes is easier to use when you're dealing with a politics-related issue, but it can work for other things where more than one person/group is involved. For example, most people and countries as well will not do something that is self-destructive, so if one party is accusing the other of doing something self-destructive or disadvantageous then it's likely that there is something inaccurate about the account. Perhaps the accusing party is setting the other one up or trying to gain some praise they don't deserve.

A lot of times all it takes is a little skepticism and some digging to get to the truth. So please don't be that one which retweets rumors or helps spread misinformation. Verify before you report it.

rahma
rahma

Related Content

Facebook Comments