I still think of the night I cried in your arms

Recalling the very moments that almost caused me to drown.

I remember my tear ducts becoming waves of depression

Filling my lungs almost to capacity with contaminated air.

Toxins carried over from my past

Dripping in every tear I produced

Thinking it was all over

You anchored me.

Your arms performed CPR to my soul

A breath of fresh air

I was breathing again.

I thought God had finally answered my prayers

The days of being dragged through the streets of disrespect and shame

Long over.

They say connecting with a soul is less than common

But, baby, we fit so perfectly.

It was so rare,

Like finding a ripped piece of paper to be whole again.

You lifted me,

Took my head and turned it 45 degrees so it faced the sky.

I felt the sun graze the temples of my forehead

And the warmth dancing along the inner corners of my flesh,

In turn, thawing me out.

I was ever so grateful

But it turns out I was just a quick prize,

Not for the public, like a trophy wife

But for your sick ego.

I made you feel like you were a king,

You were like magic.

You could utter three words knowing they were the keys to my soul,

Filling my insides with fools gold.

You watched me dance in ecstasy thinking you were the one.

I walked on my toes too afraid to awaken the spirits that could taint this dream I was living,

But it was just that

A dream -- lucid dreaming thinking it's reality.

You hid me, threw me away, stabbed me in my third vertebrae with your words of rejection,

Shameful words,

Regretful words.

Now I'm 50 steps back,

Trying to catch up to you.

Your Usain lightning gave you the ability to speed ahead of me before I could even blink,

You didn't wait for me.

You didn't look back to see if I was still breathing.

The gasps of air got shorter,

I was suffocating again,

My legs to weak to run at a normal speed.

And this time you turned around to

Take note of my lifeless, dying body

And smirked,

Because I was no longer good enough for you.

You got what you wanted out of me

I was now goods for the less fortunate.

You sucked it all out of me,

My smile,

My glow,

My eyes that could see far beyond years only saw darkness now.

So you turned back around and walked away without a care in the world of the corpse lagging behind,

,I laid there betrayed twice

Used twice,

Left twice,

Wondering if twice was gonna become a three peat.

Tired of being the girl everyone dusts their flaws off o,

Tired of being the one everyone throws back,

Sick and tired of stripping my tear ducts dry until they bleed,

But I still remember the time you said you loved me and said I was your best friend.

When you took my hand and intertwined my pain with yours,

Mixing until the chemical reaction was gold,

Golden joy.

I see beyond the years and hear the lies that were there.

You are ust like him,

You are selfish and I don't understand how I could have loved you.

I remember it all,

But, hopefully, soon I can forget it all.