Breathe In And Breathe Out

Breathe In And Breathe Out

When I feel winded, He breathes life back into me.
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I sometimes forget to breathe.

I breathe out, but never seem to breathe in.

I constantly find myself breathless.

Breathless from the chaos.

I'm winded.

I find myself running the race,

but I can't withstand the pace.

I inhale, I exhale, I inhale, I exhale.

I can't breathe.

I struggle to catch my breath,

but I keep running.

But I can't withstand this pace forever.

Eventually I will have to stop.

Eventually I will run-out of steam.

But, why do I put myself through this?

Why do I set such a quick pace for myself?

Why don't I slow down?

Why can't I be content in walking, in stopping?

The reality is, I can.

Contentment in the peace, in the silence, in just stopping,

can bring so much relief.

He calls me to stop.

To look around.

To breathe in His beauty, His Mercy, and His Endless Love.

I run the race He has set before me.

I struggle to breathe.

But then I remember that He gives life to my lungs.

I push ahead and take in the crisp air.

It fills my lungs and I am revived.

I breathe in and breathe out, and all is right.

Cover Image Credit: Stocksnap

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An Open Letter To Every Girl With A Big Heart, Except When It Comes To Herself

Because it's so much easier to love everyone around you before yourself.
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They say the key is that you have to "love yourself before you can love anyone else," or before "anyone can love you."

For those who deal with mass amounts of anxiety, or have many insecurities, that can be an extremely hard task. It seems much easier to tell your friend who is doubting herself that she looks great in that top than to look in the mirror and feel the same about yourself. It is much easier to tell your significant other that everything is going to be OK than to believe it will be when something goes wrong in your life. It becomes easier to create excuses for the ones around you than for yourself, and this is because you have such a big heart. You want those that you love to be happy and worry-free, yet you spend nights thinking about everything you have on your plate, about what you did wrong that day, fearing if someone in your life is mad at you, believing that you will never be good enough yet convincing everyone else that they are.

You are the girl with the biggest heart, yet you can't love yourself the way you care for everyone else in your life. There are many reasons that you should love yourself, though, and that's something that everyone around you is willing to tell you.

You're thoughtful.

Before doing anything, you always consider how it is going to affect those around you. You don't want to do anything that could hurt someone, or something that could make someone mad at you. It does not take much to make you happy, just seeing others happy does the job, and it is that simple. Because of this, you remember the little things. Meaningful dates, small details, and asking someone how their day was is important to you, and it makes those around you feel important too. You simply just want the people that you care about to be happy, and that is an amazing trait.

You're appreciative.

You don't need a big, fancy, and expensive date night to make you happy. Whether it's a picnic on the beach or a night in watching a movie, you're happy to just be with the person that you love. You appreciate every "good morning" text, and it truly does mean something when someone asks how you are. You tend to appreciate the person that you're with more than the things that they provide and for that, your sincerity will never go unnoticed.

You have a lot of love in your heart.

Every "I love you" has meant something, just as you remember the smallest moments that have meant the most to you. You remember the look in your significant other's eyes when they told you that for the first time. You remember the smile on your best friend's face when you told them that everything was going to be OK and that you would always be there. You remember the swell of happiness your parents felt when you decided to surprise them with a trip home one day, and you thrive off of all of that love.

You don't give up on the people you love, even if they have given you a reason to.

It is a foreign idea to just drop someone from your life, even if they betrayed you. You try to look at their mistake from every stance, not wanting to provide an excuse for them, but to give them another chance. Not everyone deserves it, and that is something that you learn along the way, but you feel good in the sense that you gave them a chance even if no one else would.

It's OK to not love yourself all the time. It's normal, and natural to stand in the mirror and think about everything wrong. And it's OK to love other people, even when you can't feel the same about yourself. But your big heart is why you should love yourself. There are so many reasons that you are a beautiful person, and the people that you spend all your time caring about feel that you have so much more to offer the world, and yourself.

So, next time you think about what you don't like about yourself, remember what makes you special –– the size of your heart and all of the love in it, and then share that love with yourself.

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5 Reasons Why I'm Not Walking At Graduation

And yes, my mom does know.

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College graduations are considered the pinnacle of a young person's college career, but what if the pure thought of the day creates more stress than joy? What if rather than feeling excited and pumped about the day to come, you feel tense and anxious about the impending event? This is true in my case. So here's why I'm choosing to not walk at my college graduation.

1. I've Already Done It All

I graduated from Tulsa Community College with an Associate of Arts in Drama. So I've decorated the cap, I've picked out the perfect outfit, I've waited for what seems like an eternity, and I've walked across the stage. So, for me, version two of that seems almost pointless and unnecessary. Now I know this isn't the case for most, but in my situation not walking just makes sense.

2. The Week Leading Up

Some seniors have the luxury of taking "blow-off" classes their final semester, as a transfer student, I do not have that luxury. Since I am a transfer student, ALL of my classes count and I have to pass every single one in order to graduate "on time." Additionally, I have to move out during the same week. So combining the stress of studying and packing is not ideal for a "celebration" at the end of the week.

3. The Days Following

I've been fortunate enough to be accepted into the Disney College Program for Walt Disney World and I check in TWO DAYS after graduation. So between the day of graduation and how long that day will be and the next day with an 18-hour drive, I'd rather spend the time I have with my family than at a ceremony that is hours long.

4. The Stress

Just reread the three reasons above, put yourself in my shoes, and try to tell me that you wouldn't be stressed the heck out.

5. The Money

The impact of this factor on deciding to walk or not is different for everyone. For me, because I have already walked at a college graduation, I am less inclined to spend money on another. Adding up the price of the cap and gown, announcements, pictures, and an outfit makes the final outcome of the event feel like a burden.

No matter what you choose to do, walk or not, know that you still earned your degree. You still put in the hours, the work, and the blood, sweat, and ~many~ tears. Walking across the stage will not change that fact.

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