It was a pivotal time in my 12-year-old life when I got my first real bra. So pivotal that it was like the scene in Mulan when decided she would take her father's place in the imperial army and fight as his "son" kind of pivotal. Now, I did not risk my life or my family's honor when I got what I thought was a magical piece of underwear but something was at risk and it was my self-confidence. My mom handed me a bra, size 36A and I was already crushed. We went home and I tried on the bra. I remember it, it was blue with white polka dots and adorable, and I didn't fill it out.
Middle school was not exactly a difficult time for me, however, I noticed I did not look like the other girls. Other girls had boobs. Boobs. Those spectacular round orbs of fat. And they filled out their push-up bras amazingly. I would then look at myself and, wow, it felt like showing up to a party and not being able to find the dog to avoid social interaction. Uncomfortable and disheartened.
I would pray for my chest to grow. I would pray to have bigger boobs. Katherine Heigel prayed for big boobs. Why not try it? It obviously worked for her. I just wanted to fit in. I really thought the epitome of being pretty was having a chest. Who was there to tell me I was wrong?
Not too long ago, this got so bad I started taking supplements to get my chest to grow. I actually turned out to be thinning my blood while taking these supplements and almost passed out when going for a run one morning. I had become so self-conscious after someone close to me uttered something about my chest that I began to hate my body for not giving me fat on my chest, that I began to destroy my health! Beauty is pain, but at what cost?
Not having something that society puts on a high pedestal can be hard. Society really enjoys doing that. This article was not to shame girls that do have boobs. I have hips and they bring their own struggles like how having a bigger chest does to girls' backs. Just putting it out there that even a bralette doesn't look all that good on me.
I think it is a valuable lesson to acknowledge what you don't have, but don't dwell on it. Focus on the good of what you do have and make it work. Happiness starts with yourself. And while coming over self-consciousness is easier said than done, you deserve the confidence to love the body you are in.
I have learned to work with the assets I have been given if you catch my drift. I hope that all girls learn to accomplish loving the skin they're in because I know how difficult it can be. I complained about as something as minuscule as boobs and there are girls dealing with far more. After learning my lesson and following my path I just hope they realize how beautiful they truly are.