Life works in mysterious ways. I never thought that by the age of 17, I would’ve met my first love. The longest relationship I had, came to an end by the beginning of my freshman year of college. I thought it was bad timing with everything. We were going to the same college, so it wasn’t something I could put away.
The first part of my freshman semester was harsh. I was crying weekly, moping on about how I will never be loved, but I didn’t keep myself from hanging out with and meeting new people, and I didn’t stay away from Greek life and other organizations that I have joined. I tried to make the best of the situation, and it would work most days.
But then again, some days were easier than others.
I didn't realize how cathartic crying about my heartbreak was. It helped get all the feelings out of me, and it felt good.
I knew I wasn’t alone. I had many people to turn to in my time of hurt. They were all there for me. I am so thankful that I had as many people as I did to help me. I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now without them.
I knew that to get on with my life without a man in it, for the first time in what seems like forever, I had to learn how to love myself. That has been my motivation the past five months since the breakup.
I knew that I needed to live an independent life and that I didn’t need a guy to fulfill my life.
I hadn’t realized how much I relied on my last relationship to prove my worth or to prove that I was beautiful and that I was going to be happy. I pressed all my issues onto him and trusted him to give me an answer for everything.
That was my biggest regret.
I now know that I need to figure my life out on my own, and I need to be able to provide for myself. I now know that I need myself, and myself only.
I'm still in the progress of learning to love myself and being happy with being single. I honestly haven’t been happier with myself than I am right now in a long time. I can now say that being single was, and is, the best decision for myself. I want to see what I can accomplish being on my own.
I want to live my best life, whether I'm with or without a significant other, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.