College, as I’m sure any rational person can comprehend, is a mentally and physically draining experience that is not for the faint of heart. You are literally around people nearly 24/7, especially if you chose to go to school in a city, which I did, and across the country, which I also did. Privacy does not exist in the college world; every experience is a shared experience whether you intend it to be or not. This sensation of always having to be conscious of the presence of at least one other person is a concept that is hard to reckon with and can lead to a struggle with your identity.

When experiencing this shift in privacy, it is easy to be overwhelmed by the pressure of maintaining appearances, but this should not prevent you from taking moments for yourself. College will, paradoxically, make you both fear loneliness and wish for it in the same thought; you want to be momentarily alone but not truly alone, you miss the support you had back home where you came from. If you can manage to be alone for two minutes out of your day, somehow and somewhere, then that is a definite head start and something to build upon; two minutes to collect yourself, prepare yourself for what is to come, and most importantly, remember to breathe.

If you’re anything like me, it takes you awhile to miss home, but when it hits you it really does knock the wind out of you; you look at a postcard your family sent you and suddenly and alarmingly miss them so much that, if given the option, you would jump on the first chance to go back home. The doubt that curls up inside you may manifest as a question: Why did I think I could do this? This 100% natural, completely justifiable question can leave you feeling more out of place than you already do and can put you in the position of comparing yourself to others and their college experience. This isn’t fair because all experience is relative, but we do it nonetheless.

A good thing to keep in mind is that even though college is a place where exponential growth and opportunity can flourish in your life, there will also be some of the hardest times of your life in those four years. College isn’t all perfect, there will be times where you need to do something by yourself or sacrifice some social time to get things done.

There will be times when you won’t go out for a long time, and you feel isolated from everyone around you. When you stop treating college like a fantasy and start realizing the absolute realness of it, things are put into perspective much better. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself; let life happen and be there to guide yourself through it. College is supposed to be weird sometimes because you’re making the transition from adolescence into adulthood. Don’t sell yourself short, and remember that everyone needs a break sometimes.