As we approach 2017, the obligatory task of setting resolutions is once more upon us. Every year with the best of intentions, I create a laundry list of everything I need to do to fix my life. Then I spend the first three months beating myself up for letting these promises slide one by one. So this year for a change, I’m announcing my three New Year’s Resolutions that I’m going to break in 2017
1. Exercise more!
This old standard gets broken more times than Liz Taylor’s wedding vows. Being honest, I’m never the type who is going to kill myself to try to get in shape. Why waste money on a YMCA membership to fight for treadmill time with the crowds of January gym-rats? Hey, I live in the city and don’t have a car; I walk everywhere, anyway! And, I’ve been able to avoid the dreaded Freshman 15. So, I’m declaring I can go ahead and brush this resolution off. Estimated breaking time: two days.
2. Spend less time on social media!
I don’t even want to know the number of hours I waste liking Instagram photos and sharing Facebook statuses. One of the things I want to do in 2017 is put the phone down and spend more time with people in real life…On the other hand, some of my best friends are spread all over the country, and a good way to keep tabs on them is to peek at their pages. And, a look at my phone is cheaper than a plane ticket, right? OMG, New Years’ Eve is always a wild night, and I’d hate to miss the gossip of last nights’ antics that will be all over social media the next morning! Estimated breaking time: 10am on New Year's’ Day.
3. Save more, spend less!
One of the things college has taught me is there is always more “out-go” than “in-come.” Maybe I should cook more meals at home, skip the window-shopping turned “window-buying” on King Street, and the late-night nosh sessions. But hey (see above), didn’t I say I wanted to spend less time on social media and more time with my friends? Brunches, movies, and nights out are all part of building relationships. Therefore, if I’m going to attempt Resolution #2, I guess that blows up Resolution #3, right? I can always save more money from my summer job…next fall? Estimated breaking time: maybe a week.
So this season of resolutions, I’m officially going straight to breaking them. Pass me the mashed potatoes and skip the guilt! It’s cold outside, let’s bag the walk and take an Uber instead! I’ll think about my resolutions after I post this selfie! And what was that expression about where good intentions lead?