Today's culture tells us that feelings are unacceptable, especially in the public sphere. We are taught from a young age that expressing our feeling in public, like crying, makes us look weak or stupid or vulnerable. We learn these messages from our families, our friends, our schools, our television programs, all that feelings and emotions define us and can be our downfall.

It is different for men and women though. For men, emotions are mostly taboo. Men are expected to be strong, masculine, rocks of unfeeling power. When a man cries in public some might express disgust and call him inappropriate names. As a result, men, on the whole, tend to bottle up their feelings in an effort to maintain their status as a man in this toxic society.

For women, emotions are also our downfall. Emotional women are never taken seriously. If a woman cries over something, no matter if it is "valid" or not, she may be labeled hysterical. Some people believe women are not fit to be in certain positions in society because we are more upfront with our emotions.

There have been many calls in the past to challenge this thinking and I ask to renew this challenge once more.

Why do we insist on maintaining the position that emotions and feelings are to be kept out of sight, locked away so that no one can see? How does that help anyone? Further, this way of thinking only damages men and women and does nothing to help people who may be struggling with events in their own lives because they fear they cannot express their feelings without retaliation on some front.

Feelings and emotions are one of the beautiful aspects of what makes us human, and what brings us together.

When a group of people are experiencing the loss of a loved one, the feeling of grief brings them together. I experienced this myself a few years ago when a dear teacher of mine from high school past away from cancer. Students, faculty, alumni, anyone who knew him showed up at the memorial and for a candlelight vigil to celebrate his life.

Together we shared our grief and pain openly and honestly with one another and we grew together as a community and a school, even if just by a fraction. While I do not regularly speak to everyone that was there that night, I still feel closer to those people because of that moment and those feelings we shared together.

Joyous occasions can have the same effect. Weddings, birthdays, parties, any joyous celebration where people are gathered together. We feel these emotions all the time, the closeness and the togetherness of being able to share with each other openly and honestly.

So why is it so much harder to do the same for other emotions? Maybe it is more difficult because there are not as many people around. Or perhaps it is because we remember what we have been told our whole lives about what is means to express these feelings to someone else. Maybe we are scared about the repercussions of opening ourselves up to another person and being vulnerable in such a way.

All of these reasons are valid and should be considered. However, it is also, perhaps, important to think about what could happen if we do share these emotions and the positive outcomes. Perhaps we share a struggle we are going through with a friend and then this friend finally feels permission, after a long while of loneliness, to share their struggle with you, or someone else as well. What if when you allow yourself to have these emotions, in public or in front of your friends of family, and are unapologetic, then that allows someone else the courage to express how they feel as well?

The idea that men do not have feelings or that having feelings makes them less of a man is a concept that we need to lay to rest. The idea that women who express their emotions openly are hysterical or are incapable of doing their jobs is a concept that should die.

We all have the ability to take a small step in holding ourselves and each other accountable for our actions and emotions. If we hear someone talking poorly about another person for expressing themselves, we can stand up for them. We can also take that opportunity to share our feelings. Putting yourself out into the light is scary but without this we will continue to live in a toxic society in which feelings and emotions are taboo.