Breaking News: Singleness Is NOT Eternal Damnation
Relationships

Breaking News: Singleness Is NOT Eternal Damnation

And, spoiler alert, society's standards shouldn't dictate your relationship status.

12
The Junia Project

“But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.” 2 Peter 3:8

For the first twenty years of my life, I was perpetually single. It felt like God had decided to make me wait a thousand years to even be asked on a date. As I watched my friends find that “special someone,” I was convinced that I would never find a guy who saw me as more than a friend. And vice-versa, that I would never find someone who I could click with on a deeper level than just friendship. Over the years, I struggled with the waiting—I was impatient. I wanted to experience that connection, that love that I saw a lot of my close friends shared with their significant other. I wasn’t desperate. I could wait. I just didn’t want to—I was dissatisfied.

And the main reason I was dissatisfied was because society said I should be. Social media, TV shows, movies, books—basically everything a young adult encounters says they should be in a relationship. A non-platonic relationship.

So, society, this is what I have to say to you: Singleness is not synonymous with eternal damnation. Stop making people think that. It’s simply not true. Sure, Thesaurus.com mentions words like confinement, emptiness, desert, isolation, and my personal favorite, wasteland—but then comes words like privacy, peace and quiet, identity, individuality. Being single is NOT being alone. I spent twenty years without a boyfriend and my life never resembled a wasteland. My life was overflowing with friends and family and meaningful relationships that brought me a lot of joy.

Contrary to popular belief, having a boyfriend or girlfriend won’t fix all your problems or fulfill your life dreams and goals. Though society may say otherwise, you don’t need anyone to “complete” you. What you need is God and only God. A significant other can be a blessing, but they will never be necessary to your life. For those of you in happy, healthy relationships, that might sound false. But if you think your significant other is necessary to your life, I would suggest re-evaluating your relationship. You don’t need him or her. You don’t. You may certainly want them in your life (if you don’t, I have no idea why you’re dating), but unless you have been surgically attached to each other and now share the same physical heart, you don’t need them. And the same goes for friends, family, pets, books, large stuffed animals, doughnuts—you will never need anything or anyone but God.

When I was single, my problem was not being alone. My problem was that I was seeking and expecting fulfillment from the wrong thing. I put all my hopes and expectations in “one day,” that imaginary time in the future when all my dreams would come true because a cute boy finally asked me out. Well, a really cute boy did ask me out. We started dating. We’re still dating. And you know what? All my hopes and expectations for dating were fulfilled. My boyfriend is a far better man than anything I ever dreamed of praying for. I am so incredibly thankful for him. He’s my best friend and I hope that will never change. Dating him has been so fun, but it hasn’t been perfect. It’s not peaches and roses and butterflies all the time. We’re still flawed humans. We both mess up. And you know what else? I’m still waiting. Now, I’m just waiting for different things—college graduation, a career, financial security, a dog, a house, doughnuts, world domination (oh come on, don’t tell me you’re not always waiting for doughnuts, too).

My daily struggle is to remind myself that my ultimate fulfillment, joy, and peace cannot come from anything this world has to offer, including a handsome, loving boyfriend. It has to come from a perfect God who has perfect (and unknown) timing.

"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God." Psalm 62:5-7

We live in fallen, broken world. Everyday, the evil and sin becomes more evident. The recent shootings in Orlando, FL are evidence. The corruption of power in our government is evidence. ISIS is evidence. I am evidence. Sure, I’ve never broken the law. But, I still hurt people (and often myself) with selfishness, arrogance, judgment. Humanity is flawed, no one is perfect and no one can provide anyone else true fulfillment. So I’m done waiting for “someday.” I’m putting my hope in my God, who is in control of “right now.”

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

While parts of the U.S. are beginning to re-open after months in quarantine, the future of date nights at home is still bright — because, let's face it, wearing masks to a fancy restaurant with your boo in the coming months just doesn't sound fun.

So, if you're looking to have a little romantic fun indoors, we've got just the games for you. Click through the slideshow below for 11 couples games that'll help you two become closer than ever.

Keep Reading... Show less

I've always been interested in any product that can get me the Jennifer Lopez-esque natural glow. I'm Indian and have medium-toned skin, so getting darker was never really the goal. Rather, I've always looked for a product that would even out my skin tone and cellulite, basically making my legs look Photoshopped.

Now more than ever we're craving that healthy, tan glow most of us only get after spending a week poolside with margarita in hand. We may not be spending an SPF-soaked summer hitting on our local lifeguards. But when we're going on socially-distanced walks outside, taking viral-worthy selfies, or just want to test out the best self-tanners for when you do finally get to show off all the bikinis you binge-purchased through your quarantine boredom, these are the best to ways to glow up, no matter your shade of skin, whether you have uber-sensitive eczema-ridden skin, or just want J-Lo glow, smooth legs.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Quarantine Checkup Week 10: It's Officially Summer, Even In Quarantine

An Odyssey panel discussion about all things quarantine.

Thanks to coronavirus (COVID-19), most of the United States has gone into its own version of quarantine. While no one loves this new way of life we're adjusting to, it's the necessity that will eventually help us fling open our front doors and frolic freely once again!

Premature thinking? Maybe. But while we're in the midst of this quarantine time, we're chatting about the most terrifying, the funniest, and the weirdest thing that quarantine has forced us into recently.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

13 Father's Day Shirts Under $30 To Gift The Dad Wearing The Same Two Every Day In Quarantine

You've been begging him to change it up, and now he won't have a choice.

Let's be honest: most of our dads are wearing the same shirts today that they probably wore while changing our diapers and holding our hands as we learned to walk. Sure, we love them for it. But whether you're quarantined with him wearing the same two shirts on rotation every week, or every time you FaceTime him, you know what he'll be wearing before he answers the phone, he needs to add some new items to his wardrobe rotation.

And you know dads — they'll feel guilted into using practically anything you were to give them. But these shirts are sure-fire ways to get him to switch up his wardrobe, and he'll be more than excited to wear each and every one of them. Plus, most of them are under twenty dollars, so no harm in dropping more than a couple in to your cart and letting Dad have his pick of his favorites.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Sat Down (Virtually) With Hollis Tuttle To Talk About Coronavirus's Impact On The Wellness Industry

Just because coronavirus has greatly impacted the wellness industry doesn't mean wellness stops.

If you're anything like me, your weekly fitness classes are a huge part of your routine. They keep me fit, healthy, and sane. Honestly, these classes help my mental health stay in tip-top shape just as much as they help my physical health.

Due to the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, gyms and fitness studios are facing temporary closure. Yes, this means my personal routine is thrown a curveball, but this also means the wellness industry is one of many that is looking at unemployment and hardship. Do I miss my Monday spin class? Of course. But do the wellness professionals whose worlds were flipped upside down have a lot more to overcome than a slight change of routine? Absolutely. Thankfully, if anyone can prove the ultimate flexibility, it's the wellness industry.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

My Boyfriend Has Changed Since Quarantine Began, And I Don't Know What To Do

"All he says is 'I love you,' which is great and all but OMG I can't get anything else out of him."

Each week Swoonie B will give her advice on anonymous topics submitted by readers. Want to Ask Swoonie B something related to dating and relationships? Fill out this form here — it's anonymous.

Dear Swoonie B,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year, which has been the best year of my life (as far as i know). Well we go to different schools and are both very involved in sports and school activities which makes it hard to see each other. During this quarantine it is especially hard. Since we haven't seen each other in over a week things are kind of tense. He won't really talk to me much and I always check in on him to make sure he is doing well and to just see how he is, ya know being a girlfriend. Well apparently that is driving him crazy and I don't understand how. I'm not being controling or clingy, i'm just checking in on him. While this is happening, I also have noticed how he just doesn't really care anymore. I'll leave him paragraphs of sweet love letters to wake up to and I encourage him throughout his day but I just don't get it in return. I love him with all of me and I obviously care about him a lot. Also, I've compared how he talked to me before all of this has happened. He was so sweet and caring, texting me a lot and telling me he loves me and just making sure everything is OK but he doesn't do that anymore. All he says is "I love you," which is great and all but OMG I can't get anything else out of him. He is a little stressed at home with trying to find another job to pay for his car, constantly having to do things for his mom, being responsible for his siblings, and managing school. I know thats a lot but im doing a lot too right now and going through a lot of the same stuff he is but It seems to me he just does not care and i don't know what to do. Please help me or give me some advice on what to say, what not to say, what to do, what not to do. Anything at this point will help. Thank you!

If I had a dollar for every time I heard "these are unprecedented times," I'd be rich. But that's because it's true!

Keep Reading... Show less
Tower 28

On paper, Amy Liu appears to be one of the most intimidating women in the beauty business. Not only did she launch her beauty marketing career at legendary Smashbox Cosmetics, she went on to lead luxury, high-end brands like Kate Somerville and Josie Maran — just to name a few.

But sitting down to meet Liu for the first time in an underground New York bar over a year ago felt like meeting a friend I'd known since childhood. As she walked into the bar in a chic red dress, it was impossible not to feel her immediate warm presence. When she talks about her history as an entrepreneur (and truly, at heart, she always was one), you don't get the sense that she's selling you anything, though with her impeccable taste, I'd use anything that had her glowing review attached to it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments