I'm sure I've said this before, but my life can be a bit hectic. I juggle a variety of different things in my day-to-day life and for the first time, it really caught up with me.
This isn't the first time I've had a mental break down due to life's various and overwhelming situations. I've dealt with this before. I've become accustomed to working through tough situations in life. But this was different.
I juggle being a full-time student, working on campus, being an active member of and holding positions in a sorority, attending church regularly and being in the choir, all while commuting to school and being part of the dynamic at home again. And I thought I could handle it. Actually, there was no doubt in my mind that I could handle it. But this wasn't like all the other times when I could - and did - just push through.
By the 5th week of my fall quarter, I was breaking. I felt I wasn't doing a good job at anything, and I felt like I was the only one putting in the work. I was carrying so much stress that I would get in my car and cry about things that didn't go my way. Failure has never been an option for me because I believe things can always be remedied. But at this point, failure seemed to just follow me. And it wasn't getting better. A couple more weeks of being incredibly busy and stressed, and I finally was able to wind down. I made some hard decisions about shifting priorities and learning to make time for everything and not let it bleed into other aspects of my life.
It was around this time or a little after when Selena Gomez came back into the public eye. She accepted an award and her speech about mental health moved not only me but so may others. That was my reminder to take care of myself. It took a good eight weeks for me to step back. But it was what I needed. I also am working on a box of things for self-care.
I became a big self-care advocate sometime during my winter and spring quarter in 2016. But I was never consistent with it. So going into this new year, I had nothing to really keep me grounded. And that made it hard. So I've been looking into what a balanced self-care plan should have, so that the next time I feel overwhelmed or that I need to recharge for the week ahead, I'll be fully prepared.