Dear Bikini Beauty Standards,
We're over. I will no longer let you plague me with anxiety for people to see my pale skin as I try to tan it, my small boobs or large thighs. I realized I let you go when I went with my friend to Bikini Hill at Sewell Park and felt no embarrassment when I shed my clothes and laid out to tan among strangers. I also realized I got over you when I noticed that I've quit comparing and hating on other girls. I've gained confidence from all the inspiring women I see in real life who are confident in their own bodies, no matter their look. I've realized I'm beautiful just the way I am from the hashtag #EveryBodysReady, which encourages everyone that when you put on your swimsuit, you are ready for the beach.
Speaking of swimsuits, I also refuse to let you tell me what I should and shouldn't wear based on my body type. Of course I know what looks flattering and what doesn't, I don't need you to tell me that. I had a magazine tell me I shouldn't wear ruched swimsuit bottoms because they're for girls with "flat butts," but guess what? I look awesome in ruched bottoms! Also, I will no longer fear "weird tan lines." Yeah, this top has a high collar and a zipper, but I think it looks super cool! It makes me feel like an athletic surfer, even though I can barely stand on a skateboard. Also, having confidence in myself doesn't mean I can't recognize that some things look better on me than others, but I'm going to choose what makes me feel confident, not you.
Also, if you catch me working out, don't for one second think it's for you. I've been working out regularly since high school. I do it because I enjoy it; I like being healthy and treating my body right. I love seeing new muscles in my arms and legs, it makes me feel strong. I love releasing stress and clearing my mind through sweat, and I love rewarding myself afterwards with a brownie (or two or three).
I'm tired of you making people hide in their homes instead of enjoying the beautiful summer sunshine. I hope people will realize, just as I have, that no one cares what you look like, because they care more about themselves. And if they do care how you look, it's because they're trying to make themselves feel better. Everyone envies someone else's body, or has something about them they don't like. Comparison is the most sure fire way to destroy happiness. I'm going to love myself, appreciate the body I've been given, and compliment others. Instead of looking at someone and thinking "I wish I looked like her," I will say "Wow, she looks great! Good for her! Now I'm going to continue to enjoy this beautiful day."
Goodbye, Bikini Beauty Standards, and leave all my fellow human beings alone too. Whether we want to improve ourselves or not, it's for us and not you. Because we're awesome just the way we are: athletic, plus-sized, petite, average and everything in between.