Attention, attention...it appears as though I had fallen off the face of this platform for about two months and maybe this platform is the only means by which you conceptualize me. If it is the case that my existence to you may be as the voice of reason on a digital page and that my disappearance upset, disrupted, disturbed, or even confused you, I apologize. In order to practice what I try not to "preach" in my writing, I took a much needed hiatus.
I would rather not resume pushing out pieces without addressing this because it seems intrinsic to what I have been ultimately trying to discuss with my audience all along. To be vulnerable, honest, and upfront about this break we took is something I avoided. I avoided thinking about why I couldn't write for two months and why I couldn't even write the terrible first drafts to edit and completely destroy until they became something coherent and beautiful. It felt as though I was put on mute.
Sometimes, for whatever reason whether it be unpaid bills, medical emergencies, cases of a terribly broken heart, funks, trips to places without wifi, breaking your typing fingers, moving and losing your lucky shirt, totaling the car, becoming an aunt-you will not do whatever it is you might actually need to do the most or benefit the most from in that period. For me, that "thing" that is the balm is writing.
Growing up in the digital age with all of the advantages and curses that come along with this, it seems our generation of twenty-somethings are conditioned to believe a constant broadcasting of our lives, ideas, and intimate spaces is normal (usually, with the caveat that these broadcastings be the most complimentary to our digital image as possible). I think we all know a friend who contemplated deleting their social media altogether or took a vacation and likely failed at taking said vacation.
I could write an entire series on social media and its duality, there would be a piece on the deceit of the filtered and the amazing marketing techniques that are possible (those articles will come). But, this piece is more about how social media and an online presence in any form demands that we consider how we present ourselves to the world every single time we post. We all know that whatever pages associated with our name on a Google search and the first five minutes of conversation we have with someone will probably be how they first try to understand us. How does this radically change the magnitude of pressure one might feel to "brand" themselves?
So, in my two month break, I spent a lot of time thinking about what content I have presented to you all and I considered what content I most wanted to see from creators I follow. I think many of us are yearning for more authentic reality and for bold, bare-all confessions about our everyday mundane, rather than just the highest of highs. If Instagram is for the highlights and your less advertised so-called "finstagram" is for the lows, where do we find the rest? The rest is our lived experiences, everything else we do outside the square and the boomerang and the however many characters we are given.
I needed a break from writing as I grappled with all of these ideas, moving into my twenties, and learning about how the beast that is the online world can be harnessed to do so much good, if only we take back control of what we consume and how we consume it as well as with what we present and how we decide to present it. I encourage all of you to take whatever time you might desire away from the online in order to learn, grow, and create without barriers. While, I was not publishing pieces for two months, I was processing-writing while not writing. Before writing truthfully, a writer is an observer of the self and others.
I am back. I am excited to work through new happenings and thoughts with you all and to continue to work on balancing self-care while optimizing time and space. Cheers to all the words left to be written.