I may not understand boys at all. However, in the past year, I’ve gained quite a perspective on bears. Yes, bears. I work around more than 60 of them at Yellowstone Bear World, and this new insight has allowed me to see many similarities between the two species.

For example, unless there is a food source nearby, both a bear and a boy will avoid humans (or girls). They see no reason to communicate unless they’re in serious pursuit of a potential mate or need to relieve social tensions. No Defining The Relationship talks needed. They will also inspect a noise, object, or odor to determine whether it can be eaten or played with. Yes, the similarities are frightening.

At BYU-Idaho, you see the grizzly, that guy who walks around campus like he owns it. The BMOC (Big Man on Campus). His hair is carefully messy, cologne wafting properly and usually wearing a backwards hat. He takes mirror pics in his bro tank after each workout, confident in his power. Grizzlies are really fun to look at, but not a great long-term choice.

Next are “Pre-Mi’s," boys who haven’t served an LDS mission yet, but are preparing to serve. These adorable cubs are constantly curious and clumsy, begging for your attention and collecting enough girls’ email addresses to survive the next two years. They try to mimic the confident swaggers of the adult bears usually with the resulting coos of, “Oh, isn’t that the cutest thing” responses.

There is the “yearling,” the cub from the previous season now getting a glimpse of how things work in the real world. This guy is straight off the mission, still accidentally speaking the language he’s used the last two years and feeling guilty for watching a movie, not to mention the horror of being alone with a girl. Not quite out of the awkward stage, but still endearing.

Last is the black bear. He tends to blend in because there are so many of them in all shapes and sizes. Sooner or later, one begins to stand out to you because of a white "V" mark on his fur, or because he once laughed at the silly grammar joke you cracked. You begin to look forward to running into this guy on campus, making sure you look good and wondering why you ever thought he blended in.

I love my bears at Bear World. Not one of them has given me a jeweled necklace in the shape of a rat. They would never expect me to get out of my car at an empty intersection for a hug only to watch me slip and fall on my face before I even get to him. A bear wouldn’t use sneaky tactics to steal a somewhat awkward and overly mushy kiss from you when you least expect it! This is all hypothetically speaking, of course...

Who knows if I’ll ever understand boys the way I get my bears. I guess once I work on my food sources, we’ll see which one comes running.