To The Boys Who Rejected Me, Thank You

To The Boys Who Rejected Me, Thank You

Being rejected will not only show you your worth, but also it will give you more time to find the man who ​is ​worth your time and who see's all you have to offer.
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The past has come up a lot lately, especially when thinking about old crushes. I remember I "loved" Gordie, Tyler, and Bryan (Brian?) and I would've dropped dead if someone told me the feeling I was feeling wasn't love. But it wasn't love.

Looking back now, I'm so thankful for the douche canoes that rejected me and called me ugly, because if they hadn't rejected me, I would've never have known how to love myself.

We all have those guys...the ones you asked out and they said no for X, Y, or Z reason. We all felt like shit afterward, but if it hadn't been for them (ironically) we would have never learned to be okay with ourselves and to respect ourselves. We deserved better than someone who only saw popularity or surface looks.

They taught us to stop looking at surface looks because looks fade. What doesn't fade is how people treat you and their inner goodness. I remember those boys clear as day and I know if I had dated them, then I wouldn't be who I am; a confident, sexy, intelligent person who is independent and who enjoys her own company. If we had dated those boys, then popularity, looks, and money would've warped us into people we are not.

Don't get me wrong, I think my boyfriend is the sexiest man alive, but not for lack of flaws; but rather because of those flaws...because he is so human and real. What he see's as flaws, I see as beautiful markers of who he is and what he's been through.



The boys I liked they were "perfect" or they appeared so to me, but I'm sure they had ghosts that haunted them. If they hadn't said no to me, then I wouldn't have learned to look inside of people for what really counts. Gordie was sweet, but he taught me that popularity wasn't everything and that I don't want to be like the girls he liked.

Bryan taught me that money means nothing if you use it for personal gain and for controlling people. Tyler taught me that boys are assholes, first of all. I'll never forget the words he said to me that still make me self-conscious, but he showed me that beauty is superficial. Beauty is not some marker of worth.

Inner beauty is the marker that matters. Being rejected made me feel ugly and worthless then, but now? Being rejected made me into the woman I am today.



Being rejected will not only show you your worth but also it will give you more time to find the man who is worth your time and who see's all you have to offer. Not just surface bullshit.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Why Girls Love The Dad Bod

If your man can rock the dad bod, he's a keeper.

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In case you haven't noticed lately, girls are all about that dad bod.

Girls have been dealing with body image issues since the beginning of time until recent (for those of you who consider yourselves to be "Thick thin") I hadn't heard about this body type until my roommate mentioned it. She used to be crazy over guys she claimed had the dad bod.

After observing the guys she found attractive, I came to understand this body type well and was able to identify it. The dad bod is a nice balance between a beer gut and working out. The dad bod says, "I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time." It's not an overweight guy, but it isn't one with washboard abs, either.

The dad bod is a new trend and fraternity boys everywhere seem to be rejoicing. Turns out skipping the gym for a few brews last Thursday after class turned out to be in their favor. While we all love a sculpted guy, there is just something about the dad bod that makes boys seem more human, natural, and attractive. Here are a few reasons that girls are crazy about the dad bod.

It doesn't intimidate us.
Few things are worse than taking a picture in a bathing suit, one being taking a picture in a bathing suit with a guy who is crazy fit. We don't want a guy that makes us feel insecure about our body. We are insecure enough as it is. We don't need a perfectly sculpted guy standing next to us to make us feel worse.

SEE ALSO: Slim Thick Is The New Thin

We like being the pretty one.
We love people saying "they look cute together." But we still like being the center of attention. We want to look skinny and the bigger the guy, the smaller we feel and the better we look next to you in a picture.

Better cuddling.
No one wants to cuddle with a rock. Or Edward Cullen. The end.

Good eats.
The dad bod says he doesn't meal prep every Sunday night so if you want to go to Taco Tuesday or $4 pitcher Wednesday, he'd be totally down. He's not scared of a cheat meal because he eats just about anything and everything.

You know what you're getting.
Girls tend to picture their future together with their guys early on. Therefore, if he already has the dad bod going on, we can get used to it before we date him, marry him, have three kids. We know what we are getting into when he's got the same exact body type at the age of 22 that he's going to have at 45.


So there you go. A simple break down of why girls everywhere are going nuts over this body type on males. We like it. We love it. We want some more of it. So here's to you dad bods, keep it up. Men, confidently strut that gut on the beach because while you stare at us in our bikinis we will be staring just as hard.

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My Boyfriend Made Me Feel Loved When I Found It Hard To Love Myself

I realized someone can still love me despite my mental illness.

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I was diagnosed with my first mental illness when I was 20. I saw my doctor, started taking meds, and briefly did some therapy before returning to college for my junior year. I met my now-boyfriend the first weekend back, and we instantly clicked. things were so easy. They just felt right.

The only problem was that I was terrified to tell him that I was struggling; that I was setting up appointments at the counseling center and with a psychiatrist. My friends at the time tried to talk me into keeping my anxiety a secret, that it would be too much baggage and that he'd want to leave when he found out I wasn't "perfect."

I decided to tell him anyway. He was so completely understanding it took my breath away. He walked me to my first counseling appointment, holding my hand and introducing himself to my therapist. I couldn't believe that I had this amazing guy who not only wanted to be with me, but also was so supportive of my struggles. I felt really lucky.

Things were not always easy, especially in the beginning when I really didn't have the words to speak about how I was feeling. There were many nights where I just cried, and he sat with me, so patient, even though he didn't really understand what I was going through. There have been times that we've gotten frustrated with each other because he can't help me if he "doesn't know what's going on." And yet, he never once left or made me feel more alone.

I think our communication has improved tenfold since I've been in therapy and treatment. We've both come to realize that he doesn't have to totally understand what's going on to be supportive, and I've come to recognize that he's my person, and telling him what I feel and what I need isn't a burden.

Through my most recent relapse this past winter, I really saw just how challenging and straining mental illness can be on a relationship. I was so scared to tell anyone besides my treatment team that I was struggling, so I kept things a secret from my boyfriend. He obviously was more intuitive than that, though, and knew I was having a hard time again with food. He'd call or text me throughout the day, asking if I'd had breakfast, what I had for lunch, how my day was going. This kind of gentle support made the biggest difference, where I felt like I wasn't alone, and I knew I had someone to keep me accountable to my recovery.

There are still the hard days. I think the most challenging part of dating with a mental illness is realizing that someone else can love you deeply, even if you're having a tough time loving yourself. This extends through my eating disorder, which constantly tells me I'm not good enough for anyone and that my body is not attractive to anyone, especially my partner.

Nick has been the best partner in crime through my recovery, assuring me that my eating disorder is lying to me and that he can love me enough for both of us, while I'm working on getting there myself. I know that my mental illnesses aren't the easiest to deal with, but I think we've become a stronger team because of everything we've conquered--together.

Three years later, I'm happily in love with this wonderful human, and in the best place mentally that I've ever been in. I don't think that's a coincidence, and for all of the support always, I am beyond thankful.

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Photo credit: Charlotte Kurz

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