Like every other hopeless romantic, I am currently gushing over the Netflix original, "To All The Boys I've Loved Before." Each time I watch it, (yes, I've seen it more than a few times) I find myself sitting in a state of something between frustration and desire. I can't help but want a love like Peter Kavinsky and Lara Jean's.

I begin dreaming of a world in which I'll meet the love of my life in a coffee shop while reading Sylvia Plath. He'll quote "The Bell Jar" and suddenly the rest of the world melts away. We'll argue about whose favorite author is actually the better one, and he will love my unwithering persistence.

But then I sink back into reality. A reality where books are boring and boys don't like opinionated girls.

I keep wondering, why do I expect to fall in love in this honestly not so grand way? Maybe, just maybe it's because everything around me is telling me, and all young women that not only is that kind of love quite possible, but common. Lara Jean and Peter Kavinsky's love is undeniably special, but not one of a kind. It is a story about any girl and any boy. A girl that could be me, but simply isn't.

But it isn't just "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" that sends a message that boys want an intelligent, strong-willed girl.

As children, we were fed this message watching Belle in "Beauty and the Beast". She is captivating because she's different. Even in TV shows, we see it. In "Gilmore Girls" both Rory and Lorelai are portrayed as strong, intelligent, and unbelievably independent. They are so true to themselves that not only are men constantly captivated by them but the entire town.

I can't count the number of times I have heard the line "I've never met anyone like you" in a RomCom. Or some variation of "I love you because you aren't afraid to tell me what you think." I keep hearing, "I love how you love to read" or "I love how you use words I've never heard before in your regular vocabulary."

Where are these boys in real life? Yes, I am aware I pointing to fictional characters. But is media not the best representation of society? Do the movie, shows, and books we consume not reflect ideas that already exist in our society? Is it not possible that we are being fed false ideas?

Or is it that most often romance is targeted at women by women? That these love stories we observe are nothing more than fantasies? That women are creating a world where they are valued as an entire person because, in reality, it does not actually exist?

But then I can't help but wonder if intelligence is nothing more than a caveat of beauty. Do boys truly want strong girls, or are they simply willing to deal with their independence as long as they assume a certain degree of beauty?

Can an average looking girl be intelligent and find true love?