to the Girl Who NEEDS To be In a Relationship

to the Girl Who NEEDS To be In a Relationship

Spoiler Alert: Boys aren't everything.

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Dear Girl Who Needs to Be in a Relationship,

Out of all the people who could be writing this letter to you, I think I am the one who is the most credible to write it. Why you may ask? Simply because I've been there and I was there for way too long.

As I write this, I am currently single, but I am in no need or rush to get into a relationship. The real question that I debate a lot is whether or not I want one. One thing I've learned through watching my friends that are in relationships and watching relationships on TV form, is that relationships are a lot of work and are not always pretty.

Relationships take up a lot of time and effort and will most likely lead to heartbreak. Personally, I don't have the time or effort to get into a relationship right now, and I don't want a heartbreak like that in my life. That's me though, and I know that you may be different.

If you're anything like me, you might have gone on what feels like hundreds of dates and you may have gotten close to getting into a relationship. Trust me, I have and it's frustrating when something doesn't work out. It feels like you've wasted time, and time is something that none of us have to waste.

I am someone that believes in soulmates and that everlasting love. I am someone who believes in the most epic love story of all time. I think and hope that it's out there not only for me, but for everyone else.

With that being said, I have been on way too many bad dates and I have talked to way too many jerks to say that most boys suck and that they aren't everything. While in college, I have learned that most boys only sex and flings. There's nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't quite line up with what relationship-oriented girls want.

If you say that you want a relationship, you might believe in the three-date rule, and you probably don't do the one-night stand thing. You may not even kiss on the first date. That's totally okay, but most guys that around 16-22 don't think like that.

Now I know there are the exceptions but finding a guy that's the exception to this "principle" of life is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. It's semi-near impossible, but it happens, and I've seen it happen first hand. I've said this before; a lot of my friends have had boyfriends and have been in relationships.

They were lucky, and their perspective might be different, but I am coming from a place where I haven't found that boyfriend. I have never had a boyfriend, and it's the most aggravating thing in the world where it takes me a long time to even get close to being in a relationship, and then I see my friends get a boyfriend in the snap of their fingers. It's the craziest thing in the world.

The things that I've learned through all of this is that boys aren't everything. I've been rejected and hurt by guys so many times, but I don't let it get to me. I text a few of my friends, write in my journal, take a nap, and it's like it never happened.

I don't want to be wasting my time pawning over a boy that's not interested in me and doesn't want a relationship with me, and nor should you. This is your time just as much as it is theirs, and you should be living your best life. Your best life doesn't need to include a boy.

I am not going to lie, it would be an added bonus if I had a boyfriend. However, if I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't be able to spend all of my time doing other things. I would want to prioritize him in some way, and right now I have way too many better things to prioritize. You might not realize it now, but so do you.

I don't even know you, but I can tell that you are a strong, amazing, and intelligent woman. I know that most guys aren't worth your time. Live your life, and just go about it.

Everything happens for a reason, and right now the reason why you're single isn't that you're not worthy of a guy, it's because boys aren't worthy of you. Just live life, and someday, you'll meet your Prince Charming. Trust me, I know it for a fact.

Don't live vicariously through your friends in relationships, it won't help, it might make it worse. Just be you because that's all the world needs, you.

Hope this helped, but I get it if it doesn't, I was once in your shoes for the longest time.

From,

Girl Who No Longer Needs to Be in a Relationship

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Cole And Sav LaBrant Give Me Hope That Our Generation Isn't Defined By Hookup Culture

Let's make "dating" a trend again.

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In case you haven't heard, Savannah and Cole's relationship is literally #goals.

From how they met to the way they kept Jesus in the center of everything they did, their relationship shows us that not all guys (and girls) just want to "hook up" or have a one night stand.

Being in college, it can be very hard to distance yourself from hookup culture because almost everyone participates in it in some way. This can mean meeting a random guy at a frat party and then going home with him that night, or it can mean sending a "You up?" text at 2 in the morning with only one intention in mind.

We, as a generation, don't date anymore.

A boy doesn't ask a girl (in person) to go to dinner and a movie anymore. If they are to do it, it's done over text and is totally impersonal. If a boy picks up a girl from their house, they honk the car horn instead of ring the doorbell.

But, some people still follow these few simple rules of dating. Some men choose to look nice for a date, bring the girl flowers, and only has the intention of getting to know the girl better, instead of only wanting to have sex with her by the end of the night.

So, boys, take the hint from Cole LaBrant.

Pursue that girl (or guy), even if she lives on the other side of the country. Put the relationship into God's hands, and He will guide you in the right direction.

The Bible also tells us to stay pure in our relationships until marriage.

For many, it can be very hard to keep this commitment to purity because everyone around us is saying to do the exact opposite.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins inside their own body. Do you not know your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies."

This verse does not condemn us for what we have done in the past. If you've had sex in the past, know that it is okay.

Even if you knew Jesus at the time, know that it is okay, because we serve a God of forgiveness and love. He knows that we are not perfect humans and that we are bound to mess up from time to time. So, do not judge yourself or others for what you have done in the past. The only thing you can do is to move forward with your eyes on Jesus.

Cole and Savannah have been very open about the ups and downs of their relationship on their YouTube channel, and also in their new book. They realize their relationship isn't perfect, and it gives us hope that our relationships don't need to be picture perfect either. If you slip up in your relationship, talk through it in open honesty, and move forward.

Image Credit: Cole and Savannah LaBrant on YouTube

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Women, It's Time We Start Lifting Each Other Up

Let's learn to lift when we rise.

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Over the years I have seen women come together due to world or political events they stand up to. However, I still see women putting each other down constantly, even if it is over petty little things. Come on women, it's 2018. It's time we stop putting each other down and instead lift each other up.

A little over two weeks ago I attend the Professional Women's Forum at Millersville University in PA. The keynote speaker for the event was Nancy Lieberman a.k.a. "Lady Magic." Now I am not keen on basketball so I did not realize how popular of an athlete she is until that day, but nonetheless her story/speech was inspirational. I left the Forum that day realizing just how important it is for us women to define our obstacles, create a game plan, and then execute it as a team.

We women know all of the obstacles we face not only in the workplace, but in our every day lives. If we learn to work together we will be able to accomplish so much more than we can individually. So stop putting other women down. Who cares if that girl that studies less than you gets straight A's? Or how about that girl in HR that has the perfect body? We ALL have our strengths and weaknesses so quit the judging. Instead you should be encouraging and helping other women use their strengths while improving upon their weaknesses.

In order for us women to work as a team we need some common sayings to live by. From Nancy Lieberman's speech there are some key mottos I was able to take away and use in my own life. So start being proactive and use these 7 mottos. Not only will these mottos help you to become a better version of yourself, but they'll help you to encourage other women around you to do the same.

1. Get up every day and set the tone for your day.

YOU have the choice to determine how your day goes. Wake up and set the tone for your day.

2. Get rid of the mind monsters.

Too often we are stuck in our heads listening to those mind monsters. It's time we get rid of them. It's as simple as saying yes or no without having to assess every possible outcome.

3. Lift when you rise. 

When you're creating success for yourself make sure to lift others up around you. Nothing is more powerful than lifting up others as you rise.

4. It's your job to start your engine.

At the end of the day, you determine whether or not you will arrive at your goals or aspirations. You are the only one that can start the journey and ultimately arrive. So what are you waiting for? Start your engine and encourage others to start their's.

5. Make everyday your masterpiece.

Make sure you are adding to your masterpiece everyday. Great, beautiful things take time so make sure you are proactively working on your masterpiece each and every day.

6. See it, say it, be it.

Envision what you want to become, tell yourself that's how you want to become, and then become it. We have to start with a vision, then verbally reinforce ourselves, and finally put that vision into action.

7. No excuses, no explanations.

You are a woman who does not need to explain herself nor use excuses. You have the power over your decisions and most certainly don't have to explain them. Be wise in your decisions, but stay firm in them.

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