My Boyfriend Of 3 Years And I Still Have Rough Spots, But That Doesn't Mean We Don't Love Each Other

My Boyfriend Of 3 Years And I Still Have Rough Spots, But That Doesn't Mean We Don't Love Each Other

Just because everything isn't always perfect doesn't mean that you love each other any less.
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I'm in my second year of college and I've been with the same guy for the last three (almost three-and-a-half) years. He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my prom date twice, and so many other things.

At this point, we know basically everything about one another. We can order for each other at restaurants, buy each other things like books or movies, and pick out music for road trips that we can both enjoy. He's truly my best friend.

But does all of this mean that everything is always perfect? No.

We do the long distance thing during the semester and just come home as often as we can to see each other, but that still usually isn't enough time. We go through phases where our nightly FaceTimes are more out of habit than an actual want (not that some actual desire to talk face to face isn't there, but...). We have times when we've both been growing while we're away from each other and we realize that we've grown into different places.

We disappoint one another. We hurt one another without meaning to. We're humans.

But, it's not all that either. There have been nights where we've been on FaceTime for so long that it takes one of our phones dying to make us hang up. There have been times where we've been doing this whole "growth as a person" stuff while away at school and realized that we're in the exact same spot. There have been times when we've been so good together that it feels like flying.

Is it OK that we still have those rough patches sometimes? Yes.

Here's the thing about relationships: the people involved are only human. They aren't perfect, no matter how hard they try. They are going to screw up and they are going to inevitably let the other person down or hurt the other person without meaning to. It's part of the risk of being in a relationship.

It's like that cheesy John Green quote about choosing who hurts you. Love is not a feeling. It is a choice. And every day, you have to make that choice. You have to choose to commit even when it would be easier not to, even when it would hurt less to not to.

What's not OK is not learning from the problems that you tackle together.

If you don't learn how to deal with it the next time that it comes up, it just gets to hurt you all over again, probably more than the first time just because you're kicking yourselves for not really solving it that first go around.

What's not OK is not communicating about it.

If you're feeling something, you ought to share it with the person you're closest to. Take it from me when I say that it hurts them worse to have to speculate about what's going on with you than hear the actual truth. Share with them if you're sad or angry or hurting or even really happy. Communication is key, my friends.

If you're in a rough patch, keep your head up because it's going to be OK one way or another. These are the times that make you truly appreciate the good ones, the times that make you closer and stronger as a couple.

To my own guy, thanks for being you and for letting me be me. I love you lots!

Cover Image Credit: Lily Snodgrass

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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I’d Much Rather Celebrate Valentine’s Day With My Single Girlfriends Than Any Guy

Bring on the pizza and ice cream because Valentine's Day is Girls Only this year.

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Being single during any time of the year is difficult, but it can be even harder with Valentine's Day quickly approaching. People either love it or love to hate it. It's a day filled with dramatic romantic gestures, carefully planned dates, and an abundance of roses and chocolates. Well, at least for some it is. The pressure to have a "Valentine" as well as have the perfect evening is so high that in my option it completely takes the fun out of the day. So this Valentine's Day, I won't be stressing over the perfect outfit, restaurant or date. Instead, I'll be deciding if I should have another slice of pizza while my girlfriends try to figure out which cheesy rom-com we should watch next.

I don't hate Valentine's Day, I actually think it's really romantic. I think it's great that some people find happiness in grand gestures and extravagant presents. When I feel about someone strongly enough, I'm sure I'd do the same, but as of right now I don't. I don't want to be someone valentine or worry about finding the perfect gift. I want to focus on myself and just have a fun night with my girls. We worry so much about what everyone has to say about the things we do that often times we don't make any decisions for ourselves. Be a little selfish and do only what you want. Order too much food, break out the wine, and enjoy a stress-free night with the people that mean the most to you.

You will find me on the couch with my sorority sisters most likely catching up on "The Bachelor" or ruining our diets with dollar store sweets. And yes, I know there's an unofficial holiday already called, "Galentine's Day" (which I will be celebrating too) that's for ladies celebrating ladies. Who says you can't do it two nights in a row? Who says that Valentine's Day has to be a day spent with a romantic partner?

This is me telling you to take this day to have some fun and ignore the pressures society (and ourselves) put on ourselves constantly. Surround yourself with the people who support you; the ones who stick around through it all and love you unconditionally. If you still want to stay in the festive mood, you can exchange valentines with your friends and treat each other with chocolate hearts. And if you want to celebrate Valentine's Day with your significant other, go ahead, I'm not stopping you.

So, no matter what Valentine's Day for you is, celebrate it however you want. Dress up to the nines and have the night of your life. Stay in, order takeout, and fall asleep watching a movie. Hang out with your girlfriends, guy friends, or both! It doesn't matter how you do Valentine's Day, but rather who you spend it with.

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