My Boyfriend Of 3 Years And I Still Have Rough Spots, But That Doesn't Mean We Don't Love Each Other

My Boyfriend Of 3 Years And I Still Have Rough Spots, But That Doesn't Mean We Don't Love Each Other

Just because everything isn't always perfect doesn't mean that you love each other any less.

I'm in my second year of college and I've been with the same guy for the last three (almost three-and-a-half) years. He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my prom date twice, and so many other things.

At this point, we know basically everything about one another. We can order for each other at restaurants, buy each other things like books or movies, and pick out music for road trips that we can both enjoy. He's truly my best friend.

But does all of this mean that everything is always perfect? No.

We do the long distance thing during the semester and just come home as often as we can to see each other, but that still usually isn't enough time. We go through phases where our nightly FaceTimes are more out of habit than an actual want (not that some actual desire to talk face to face isn't there, but...). We have times when we've both been growing while we're away from each other and we realize that we've grown into different places.

We disappoint one another. We hurt one another without meaning to. We're humans.

But, it's not all that either. There have been nights where we've been on FaceTime for so long that it takes one of our phones dying to make us hang up. There have been times where we've been doing this whole "growth as a person" stuff while away at school and realized that we're in the exact same spot. There have been times when we've been so good together that it feels like flying.

Is it OK that we still have those rough patches sometimes? Yes.

Here's the thing about relationships: the people involved are only human. They aren't perfect, no matter how hard they try. They are going to screw up and they are going to inevitably let the other person down or hurt the other person without meaning to. It's part of the risk of being in a relationship.

It's like that cheesy John Green quote about choosing who hurts you. Love is not a feeling. It is a choice. And every day, you have to make that choice. You have to choose to commit even when it would be easier not to, even when it would hurt less to not to.

What's not OK is not learning from the problems that you tackle together.

If you don't learn how to deal with it the next time that it comes up, it just gets to hurt you all over again, probably more than the first time just because you're kicking yourselves for not really solving it that first go around.

What's not OK is not communicating about it.

If you're feeling something, you ought to share it with the person you're closest to. Take it from me when I say that it hurts them worse to have to speculate about what's going on with you than hear the actual truth. Share with them if you're sad or angry or hurting or even really happy. Communication is key, my friends.

If you're in a rough patch, keep your head up because it's going to be OK one way or another. These are the times that make you truly appreciate the good ones, the times that make you closer and stronger as a couple.

To my own guy, thanks for being you and for letting me be me. I love you lots!

Cover Image Credit: Lily Snodgrass

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I Blame My Dad For My High Expectations

Dad, it's all your fault.

I always tell my dad that no matter who I date, he's always my number one guy. Sometimes I say it as more of a routine thing. However, the meaning behind it is all too real. For as long as I can remember my dad has been my one true love, and it's going to be hard to find someone who can top him.

My dad loves me when I am difficult. He knows how to keep the perfect distance on the days when I'm in a mood, how to hold me on the days that are tough, and how to stand by me on the days that are good.

He listens to me rant for hours over people, my days at school, or the episode of 'Grey's Anatomy' I watched that night and never once loses interest.

He picks on me about my hair, outfit, shoes, and everything else after spending hours to get ready only to end by telling me, “You look good." And I know he means it.

He holds the door for me, carries my bags for me, and always buys my food. He goes out of his way to make me smile when he sees that I'm upset. He calls me randomly during the day to see how I'm doing and how my day is going and drops everything to answer the phone when I call.

When it comes to other people, my dad has a heart of gold. He will do anything for anyone, even his worst enemy. He will smile at strangers and compliment people he barely knows. He will strike up a conversation with anyone, even if it means going way out of his way, and he will always put himself last.

My dad also knows when to give tough love. He knows how to make me respect him without having to ask for it or enforce it. He knows how to make me want to be a better person just to make him proud. He has molded me into who I am today without ever pushing me too hard. He knew the exact times I needed to be reminded who I was.

Dad, you have my respect, trust, but most of all my heart. You have impacted my life most of all, and for that, I can never repay you. Without you, I wouldn't know what I to look for when I finally begin to search for who I want to spend the rest of my life with, but it might take some time to find someone who measures up to you.

To my future husband, I'm sorry. You have some huge shoes to fill, and most of all, I hope you can cook.

Cover Image Credit: Logan Photography

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