So the other day, my boyfriend and I are cuddling watching a movie when he turns to me and says “Do I do things that bother you?”. I tell him if he did, he would know. When I ask him why the super random question he answers “Do you think it’s weird that we don’t fight?”. And I stop, and pause and realize that in seven months of dating, we’ve never fought.
After this realization, I start thinking that maybe it’s a bad thing that I haven’t had a fight with my boyfriend. I’ve had fights with friends, with my parents, with my sister and it’s always been worked out in the end. So why don’t I fight with my boyfriend? It’s not that I’m scared to fight with him. I don’t think he’s going to break-up with me if I disagree with him or get mad at him. If we don’t fight, does that mean we don’t care about each other? But that’s not true either.
To be honest, this bothered me for a few days. I kept thinking about why we don’t fight and what that means about our relationship. And then it hit me, I’ve never fought with my boyfriend because he’s never made me angry. Every time I have an issue or get annoyed about something he does or says, I tell him. And then we talk about it and come up with a solution. He does the same thing when something I do bothers him.
But I still couldn’t shake the feeling that something might be wrong….since nothing is ever wrong. It’s always sunshine and rainbows with him. There’s never any conflict, never any stress about our relationship, there’s just never a problem.
But our lives are like that as well. Yes we both stress about classes and work. But since we’ve been dating, there hasn’t been any major stressors in our lives. We don’t fight about money because we don’t share bills or anything. We don’t fight about spending time with friends because we’re able to spend time with them and each other. There’s just nothing to fight about.
This whole “why don’t we fight?” experience made me question my relationship. I realized it’s okay that there isn’t conflict with my boyfriend and I’m very thankful for that. But that doesn’t invalidate our relationship. It doesn’t mean we don’t care about each other. And I’m sure in the future, we’ll have a fight. And it’ll suck and I’ll definitely cry and that’s okay too.