1. It distorts the idea and concept of dating as a whole. | The Odyssey Online
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Arts Entertainment

Ladies, I Refuse To Watch 'The Bachelor,' 'The Bachelorette,' And Anything Else In The Bachelor Franchise Because It's Not Real Love

Yeah, I know. I went there.

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shocked girls

OK, BEFORE avid fans of the franchise start screaming at me about how romantic or cute or good the show is, or start ranting against me for disliking their beloved dramatic TV show about finding love (and hear me out here, I love it when people I care about find love, and I love cute and romantic love stories myself), please know your enthusiasm, while admirable, won't do anything to convince me to watch the show.

I will not do it.

"Oh come on, Liv, it's just a show!" you may say to me.

Well, readers who support/follow/love the show, I disagree.

I disagree, strongly.

I will not watch "The Bachelor" or its variants for a few reasons. And these reasons are just my personal opinions and beliefs. They are not things that I have researched or are proven facts.

1. It distorts the idea and concept of dating as a whole.

For the VAST MAJORITY of America, dating looks NOTHING like what the producers and writers of the show have portrayed. In real life, MOST people don't take off 2 months of work to go find love. In real life, dating usually doesn't involve people being whisked away to exotic, dreamy, or romantic locations; spending BRIEF and INFREQUENT amounts of time with the one person they are hoping to end up in a relationship with because there are like 20 other people also vying for that person's attention AT THE SAME TIME, and then at the end of the show, two people who STILL know barely ANYTHING about the other person (other than they might be physically attracted to each other), are expected to get engaged at the end of the show.

"But it can happen! Where's your belief in love?" some of you might say to me.

And I'll admit, reader, you're right.

It can happen. But I'm of the belief that it can ACTUALLY happen, the kind of relationship that ends up lasting for the long haul when GOD is in the middle of and is the foundation of the relationship.

And trust me, I do believe in love.

I believe in LOVE, the One who is, in fact, LOVE, and I believe that a love between two people that is rooted and based upon the TRUTH of GOD, not emotions, chemistry or physical attraction, is love that is equipped to last for the long haul.

2. The show's producers are okay with making grown men and women look like immature, petty, and manipulative children for the sake of entertaining television.

Now that's just wrong.

While there are some people that really do actually behave that poorly in real life, putting that kind of behavior in the spotlight and essentially saying this to the world...

"HEY! This kind of behavior in dating is TOTALLY NORMAL, 100% HEALTHY, and happens ALL THE TIME! If you learn to be OKAY with it, TOLERATE it and eventually ACCEPT IT as a part of life, you'll FOR SURE find love!",

... is toxic.

The shows are not real life, and so trying to pass them off like they could be possible in real life is dangerous. And because of this, I honestly believe The Bachelor franchise makes a mockery and a farce of truly healthy dating. I mean, it's no wonder that most of the couples that have come out of The Bachelor franchise haven't lasted past the show.

3. Dating relationships need TIME and PRIVACY to grow, and the show offers very little if any of that for the 'cast' members.

Being able to talk without being filmed, spend time together without HAVING to talk (which tbh wouldn't make the most interesting TV to watch), dates that don't leave you feeling like you completely wiped out your bank account afterwards, moments in sweatpants, messy hair, and no makeup, honest conversations that aren't filtered or edited for the sake of television ratings, these are real moments.

True intimacy with someone occurs in the moments when you really get to discover and learn about a person's heart and mind, their life story, things they've overcome and struggled with. These conversations can't be forced, fabricated, or scripted for television. Authentic and honest conversations require time and privacy, which a show like "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette" isn't able or willing to give to those on the show.

In the age of social media, documenting our lives through selfies, Snapchat, Insta-stories, blogging, Facebook status updates, and too many tweets to count, the ability for couples to keep things between themselves has become damaged and the importance of privacy has been watered down.

4. The show's existance.

Yeah, I know…I went there.

Love is not, and should not be made into, a public affair for others to be entertained by. Dating is not, and should not be made into, a public affair for others to be entertained by. As a culture, we need to figure out why we're so fascinated with watching other people's heartbreak and figure out if we know what real love looks like before we forget completely because of shows like this presenting us with the wrong messages about where to find love.

Love is not simply a thing that you feel, experience, have for another person, or show to someone else.

Love is a PERSON, and his name is Jesus.

And until our society figures out that only He can satisfy our innate need to BE loved, then things like "The Bachelor" are going to continue to encourage others to play with and disregard people's hearts, heads, and emotions.

* * *

Obviously, I don't expect people to agree with me on any of these opinions or understand where I'm coming from. And for those of you who enjoy the show, I'm not trying to attack you or tell you that you shouldn't watch "The Bachelor" and other related shows. These are just the reasons that I personally have for not watching those shows.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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