Maybe this has been you, maybe it hasn't. Whether it's been you, your friend, your brother, or even your roommate, this one is for the boy who won't define the relationship.

Dear boy,

Why are you even bothering with a girl if you refuse to define the relationship? I understand being in limbo and still trying to figure out what you want, but what if the roles were reversed? Would it make you feel good if a girl was trying to decide whether or not she should give you the good old college try? I wouldn't think so.

I completely understand trying to figure out what you want. I am not against discovering truths about yourself. Not being sure if you're ready for a relationship is also completely valid. I've been there. Everyone has their own reason for hesitation when it comes to relationships, not really knowing if you're ready to settle down with one person, not sure if you're ready to have someone in your heart again, or simply just wanting to be free. The answer is clear- If you'd rather go out and party, meet up and mingle in flirtatious ways with other people, or you don't really think you're capable of giving your heart fully to another person... you should not enter a relationship. I know if my thought process mirrored that, I would rather not feel confused and pressured by the decision to settle down, and would rather just say, "Sorry, I'm not interested, and I am not ready at this point in my life." WHY IS THAT SO HARD?

It may be hard, and it may break someone's heart a little bit, but isn't that going to make you feel better about yourself rather than leading a girl on for weeks, maybe even months, and waiting to let her know you aren't interested?

If you are treating someone as more than a friend, then define that relationship. If you've ever had your heart broken by someone who didn't show you their disinterest early enough, you would understand. Being lead on and thinking you had a chance when maybe you never really did, is wasteful.

Nobody should be wasting their hearts on someone who isn't willing to do the same. That's why defining the relationship is so important. Saying some kind of label rather than being in constant battle with yourself because you refuse to commit, is a lot better than feeling terrible.

To the boy who won't commit, the person who you are leading on deserves much better than that. If you want them, make them yours, and if you don't, there is someone out there who is willing to do what you refuse to do.

Sincerely,

Someone who deserves an answer