Honestly, I blame myself. I blame myself for letting my guard down. I blame myself for putting blind trust into you. I blame myself for taking everything you said at face value. I don’t know how I could be so naïve to think you actually meant what you said. Maybe you did mean it, but I’ll never know.
As much as I blame myself, I blame you, too. I blame you for making me believe there was something there. I blame you for saying you wanted to “see where things go” then took off with no explanation. I blame you for making me feel like you were actually going to put in the effort. I blame you for leaving me with nothing but empty promises.
You said you “haven’t felt this way about someone in a long time,” but that’s hard to believe when I clearly wasn’t worth the effort. You’ll move onto the next girl, she’ll hear the same thing. Then you’ll up and leave, and she’ll feel the same confusion and hurt I’m feeling.
I don’t know why I thought it would be different with you; I’m honestly angry with myself for thinking it would be. I’m smarter than that. I’ve been hurt enough that I should have recognized that what you were saying was bullshit. But I blindly trusted you, despite every instinct in my body telling me I shouldn’t. And I learned my lesson.
I think the only reason I’m this upset is due to the fact that I never got closure, and I know I never will. With a peck on the lips, you were gone completely. No goodbye. No explanation. Just gone. That’s what’s eating at me. There are so many unanswered questions I have that will remain unanswered. I’ll never know if you meant what you said. I’ll never know if I cross your mind occasionally. I’ll never know if you miss the times we had.
I miss the times we had. But I don’t miss you. I miss who I thought you were.