To The Boy Who Gave Me Hope Before Taking It Away, Thank You
Start writing a post

To The Boy Who Gave Me Hope Before Taking It Away, Thank You

I broke through the asphalt of shock and disappointment and hurt you caused me. I know every lyric to my heartbeat now because I wrote it.

669
To The Boy Who Gave Me Hope Before Taking It Away, Thank You
Pexels

I woke up the morning of Valentine’s Day last year to your message: “I just don’t think I have enough time to talk to anyone right now I’m sorry.”

Yikes.

We’d only hung out once, but I liked you an awful lot. You were respectful of boundaries in a time in which others were not. Your texts had enthusiasm and exclamation points. You gave me compliments that I returned. You made me feel comfortable and safe and attractive.

We could’ve been magic. You were hope I found out of self-destructivity. You were a perfect enigma in between black-and-white lines.

I think about nights you spent up, drunk and throwing up, probably my number, probably my name, probably the two hours we spent together.

You were an algebra problem I could never get on my own. I never liked math anyways, but you were quite literally majoring in it at the college two minutes from my dad’s house, my mother’s town, my childhood home.

I think of therapy sessions with your name, tasting like syrup, sweet yet sticky. I think about how we’re still strangers somehow.

I tried to keep what we had going, but my messages were put out like an unwanted fire.

And I still gave you the benefit of the doubt.

I see pictures shared between you and your apparent girlfriend; I see tweets that must be an epitaph to our relationship, or whatever it was. Every time I spoke or heard your name after that, I could hear the Grim Reaper playing his tune.

Cracking my bones, my skin, my heart: there’s no glue that can fix an earthquake.

But I climbed my way out of self-destructivity and the low sense of worth you gave me every time you wanted to “hang out” while your Twitter still reeked of girlfriends that didn’t have my name. I broke through the asphalt of shock and disappointment and hurt you caused me. I know every lyric to my heartbeat now because I wrote it. I am learning how to be unfazed by the men who do not love me, because now, I have so much beautiful time, all thanks to you.

Thank you. The way you repeatedly texted and then ghosted me showed me I am worth more. The ways you respected me showed me it’s possible to trust a boy and not be shot down. The time you did not give me, I gave to myself -- and I have the most beautiful friends anyone could ask for, positions in clubs, new people and experiences, and an upward shot of self-worth I deserved a long time ago. I am healing.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

938816
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

115782
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

99963
​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments