Women are told to love every curve of their body, every flaw, every fly-away hair, and every dab of cellulite. I love that there are people who are living life this way. Self-love is often overlooked, but let's not be unrealistic. I am not living my life this way. How are we supposed to love the things society reminds us, each and every day, are ugly?
I don't think it is fair to place this responsibility on someone. A girl is looked down on if she cares too much about the way she looks. A girl is looked down on if she is insecure. Let me be insecure. Stop telling me to love every one of my flaws. To overcome insecurities and to feel good is no one's duty other than yours. No one else should be impeding on how you feel about yourself. It is your business and no one else's.
It occurred to me when I ordered a salad-- yes, I genuinely like salad. After I ordered it at a restaurant, in front of the waiter and the tables next to us, my friend blurted out "A salad?! Really, c'mon Emma. Don't be insecure. Order a cheeseburger!" I felt exposed. Why was what I wanted to eat anyone else's business? Why was the way I perceived myself anyone else's business? These are the questions I ask myself every day.
Some of us strive for perfection or to better ourselves. But what one person sees might not be what someone else sees. My friend yelled at me as I looked in the full-length mirror, "shut up, you look skinny enough." My friend was heavier than me, and even though I think she is perfectly beautiful the way she is, her appearance does not affect the way I think of mine. She does not look through the same eyes that I do. She does not look through the "I was twelve pounds lighter my senior year of high school eyes," or the "I workout every day, why do I not look like it?" eyes.
It does not help that society has always categorized certain body flaws as ugly or unattractive. Cellulite has never been something "hot," but now society wants us to accept these flaws as "beauty." It's not fair to expect us who have struggled with these flaws to do a 180 and love them overnight.
Is it healthy to obsess over your weight, skin, and hair? Absolutely not. If you know someone who is harming themselves, get them help. But if you have a friend who is really striving to better themselves, or make their flaws better in their eyes, let them.
I think it is unrealistic to expect someone to love every inch of themselves. If I could name four things I hate about myself, but I can also name four things that I love. Balance is key. What I am telling you is that it is OK to not love every single part of yourself. Don't self hate. But don't pretend to love the things that you don't. And instead, work on them. You don't know how people are healing, perhaps gaining weight, or dealing with acne scars is a big part of the healing process for them.
I am not 100 percent happy with my body. That is OK. I am unhappy with it sometimes. That is OK. Stop pretending.
It is no one's business whether you are ordering that salad or that cheeseburger. The only person's whose opinion matters on the way you look is yours.
