As a young adult living in the 21st century. It is a huge accomplishment the moment you start accepting and loving yourself. Why is it so hard, you ask? Because each and every day, we are being force-fed the concept that you can never love yourself. You can change your clothes, cut your hair, work yourself to exhaustion to achieve your idea of the perfect body. But you are never, ever, allowed to completely love yourself.

So you’ve got a little junk in the trunk? You’re a binge eater who needs to lose weight.

Oh, you weigh under 110 lbs? You’re anorexic.

These are just two stereotypes that men and women are faced with (and yes, I do believe that men are held up to the same ridiculous beauty standards as well). But why is it that way?

When did it become so casual to stare into a mirror and pick out the flaws you see in yourself? When did it become okay to create a hashtag just to fat shame others? And when did it become okay to spam a person’s Instagram account with hateful comments about their thigh gap?

When did the new trend become hate? To hate others, to hate yourself.

Please tell me why it’s so hard to love myself? Why can’t a person feel proud and confident for everything about them? Why do we always feel compared to even when we are at our most happiest?

But the way I’m starting to see it, maybe it isn’t that we can’t love ourselves, but society that can’t love people for who they are.

Because I do love myself. It took me a long time to actually feel that way, and it wasn’t because I worked to drop five pounds or because I mask myself in makeup. It’s because I stopped listening to all the little voices that said I wasn’t good enough and instead decided for myself that I’m perfect for the only person that matters, me.