Your body image has a huge impact on your sex life — let's be real, intimacy includes your body.
It's normal to have your bad days when you're just not feeling it, but if the bad days are stacking up to tower the confident days, maybe it's time to start working on how you perceive yourself. Carrying shame around with you all day will crawl its way into the bedroom and kill your sex life. But don't worry, there are always ways to revive it. And, it starts with self-acceptance, self-respect, and self-feel goods.
Repeat this to yourself to start boosting your sex life: I am strong, I am capable, I am desirable.
Here are 11 ways your negative body image has found its way to the bedroom.
1. You're only having sex with the lights off
This may not seem like a big deal, but if you're hiding in the dark, it's time to turn on the lights – maybe start with a candle or one lamp in the corner. Before you know it, you'll be rolling in the sheets mid-day.
2. You can't get out of your head
And, if you can't get out of your head, you won't be able to feel the pleasure and reach your O.
3. There is unintended tension in the room
I don't mean the hot and bothered kind of tension. It's not your fault that you are struggling with your self-image, but it's time to get help and learn how to accept your beautiful self the way you are.
4. You limit new sex positions
You freak out when your partner requests a new position because you don't want them seeing your body in that way or you don't want to experience how your body feels in that position. Unfortunately, I hear this all the time, but it's OK to allow yourself to find your naughty side and have fun. You are more than your body and your partner is ready to try new experiences with you.
5. You're distracted and lose interest quickly
Your head is not in the game.
6. You won't want to get naked
Ever had sex with your shirt, pants, bra, socks, or anything still on? Unless you're having a quickie in the bathroom, take it off!
7. You're not fully enjoying the moment
You are not having sex solely for someone else. Intimacy is for you, too, and you're allowed to feel pleasure and enjoy the moment – you deserve it.
Think sex without a condom, but, remember, safe sex is fun sex. Period.
9. You're not engaged and responding to your partner
Communication, listening, and responding is a huge part of sexual behaviors. Yet, if your brain can't focus on the erotic passion, you won't be able to effectively respond and feel the rhythm.
10. You don't feel sexy and don't want to have sex
When you're not feeling sexy, you lose your sex drive. It's normal to have some days where you're feeling seductive and ready to jump on your partner and other days where you just want to snuggle, but if these days are solely dependent on your self-image, there may be more to the story.
11. You only have sex under the covers
It gets real hot real quick.
If you are struggling with your body image, reach out to a therapist today.