Body Dysmorphia as an Identical Twin
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

Body Dysmorphia as an Identical Twin

When I was younger I had an extreme sense of body dysmorphia, and I think it's important for others to know that they are not alone.

74
Body Dysmorphia as an Identical Twin

When I was younger I struggled with my body image, like many children and preteens do as they are growing up. I always considered myself a little on the heavy side, even though I probably would have been considered normal weight, but this image in my head was fueled by comments made by my immigrant family regarding what I ate, how much I exercised, and what I looked like. In my family, being skinny and fit was an ideal body type, and my family, especially my grandmother, would always talk about how important it was to be healthy and fit.

My sense of body dysmorphia was especially heightened in middle school for several reasons. The main reason was that I was an identical twin and it was during this time period that we started looking very different from one another. I had always been a few pounds heavier than her since we were born, but during middle school, my sister lost a lot of weight and became extremely skinny and gaunt, while I still looked the way I always had. Her dramatic weight loss was a major cause of concern in my family, and it also had a major effect on my self-identity.

People would use our weights and physical appearances to tell us apart because it was easier than trying to tell us apart by our names or faces. Being an identical twin, I had been craving my own identity for so long, but this was not how I wanted to be differentiated from my sister. The more weight she lost, the larger I seemed compared to her, and overall I felt so large and out of place when we stood next to each other. My family noticed, and while trying to get her to gain weight, they also tried to get me to lose weight. Looking back, I think they just wanted her to be healthy and they believed getting us to look alike again was a good way to do that. I don't think they knew that their comments and mannerisms to try to get me to lose weight had such a profound impact on the way I saw myself and the way I believed others saw me. I vividly remember being called "chunky" and being told to exercise; these were things I had always thought about myself, but they were now amplified because I was hearing it from other people. In school, I would restrict what I ate and would be so self-conscious about how I looked and how I thought I looked to other people. I literally felt as if the word "fat" was tattooed on my forehead. No matter what I did though, no diet or amount of exercise really worked and I continued to look the same, shedding countless tears alone after meals hating the way I felt and looked. I felt guilty when I ate and when I wasn't exercising, and it ate me up inside.

Eventually, my sister gained most of the weight back and I lost my baby fat, but the damage was done and I still felt an extreme sense of body dysmorphia in highschool. Furthermore, our physical appearances became a permanent method of differentiation for others, including our relatives and friends. I accepted that I would always be a little heavier than her, and rather than pushing this fact away, I began to tell people as soon as I met them that this was a way they could tell us apart. I wouldn't say that I am necessarily happy with the way I look now, but I'm not obsessed with my weight and changing my physical appearance like I was before, which is such a relief, and I like not having to worry about it.

I can't go back in time and change what happened, but I do wish that I could tell my younger self that it was ok to look the way I did and that no matter what others tell me, I should be the only one in charge of how I feel about my body. I think this is an important message that many people take for granted, especially children, but it is something that everyone should think about.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

933632
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

109939
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

57072
​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments